


The Memories of Forgotten Love

by magnum_yuki



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Amnesiac Levi, Comatose Levi, F/M, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Levi Has A Sweet Tooth, Levi and Eren are Bestfriends, M/M, Mikasa doesn't hate Levi, OC by me, Oblivious Eren Yeager, Taller Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), What Was I Thinking?, a little bit ooc, more like they're buddies, overprotective Hanji, poor levi, sorry for being an ass
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-14
Updated: 2018-03-20
Packaged: 2018-03-22 14:38:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 22,402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3732595
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/magnum_yuki/pseuds/magnum_yuki
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eren was getting married but an incident that involved his bestfriend, Levi managed to pull him out from making his last vow. He dashed through the hospital hallways only to see Hanji was crying with Erwin tried to hold her up from slumping on the floor and became a dead mess. Seeing her bad condition steered an uneasy thoughts and feelings deep within him.</p>
<p>When the surgeon came out from the ICU ward with bad news, Eren had to prepare himself for the terrible waves that slammed his body and heart as Levi might lose his memories or worse, not even wake up for the rest of his life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Terrible Things

**Author's Note:**

> Oh hye there, you guys! I published a new story and it's different from my other work... I made a plan to just post this story short so expect the only few chapters in the future like maybe 8 chapters or 10...
> 
> And also each chapter will only has 1000 to 2000 words. I want to play it safe for this story and I really2 hope you guys will like it!
> 
> p/s:this story was an inspiration from another fic that I read which is 'Best man' by powblam. So anyone who didn't read it yet might go read it because the story is awesome..
> 
> As usual this is unedited...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #Terrible Things  
> #Mayday Parade

Eren waited for the door to open so he can walked out confidently to the altar with his lover, fiance and soon to be husband waiting for him there. He wore a white suit, a black vest inside together with a dark red tie, adding with a rose on his chest pocket to complete the look. His messy dark locks still the same as usual but looking more dashing as Levi told him to make it more messier.

Speaking about Levi _, where the hell is he?_

Eren last seen him was before he got inside here with him always looking at his phone. He also told Eren that he had to go somewhere for a while but promised to be here in time for Eren's wedding. But seeing around without his face or even shadow made Eren felt somewhat unpleasant. The words that Levi told him before he's gone keep repeating inside his mind like some cursed broken cassette;

_**"It's okay, Eren. I won't go away..."** _

As he kept mulled over the fact that Levi still didn't show up, Armin came rushing inside and told him to get prepared. He flashed him a nervous smile and the thought of Levi's absent flied away as the door in front of him opened to reveal a red coloured path covered on his way and at the end of it stand proudly was his soon to be husband, Alex and the priest.

Eren smiled upon seeing him and walked his long legs albeit nervously as the thought of ending his single life popped inside his mind. He saw a lot of his friends were sitting on the benches with a smile directing toward him. Even Jean looked happy as he mouthed the words ' _Goodluck, asshole.'_ to him which he rolled his eyes and sent a playful glare instead. Well, he cannot take the chance to insult Jean in front of everyone in his wedding ceremony.

No way in hell but thanks, asshole.

And again the lack of someone faces he knew dearly went unnoticed as he watched the faces of someone he loved entered his sight, his parents, Grisha and Carla Jaeger took upon themselves to stand at the very first bench near the altar with a big smile plastered onto his father's face and his mother looked more sad than him.

When he neared enough them, his mother enveloped him in a big tight embrace, mumbling the words of _'You're a big boy now and you're getting married. I can't believe this. Oh my Eren...'_ Eren managed a small laugh as he stole a glance towards eager looking Alex. He smiled at him and wondered how _~~that person~~_ would look when he smiles. Clearly he would looked more attractive than-

That dangerous thought managed to slap Eren mentally. His breath hitched when he realised back the absence of Levi and the thought of seeing him smile went stronger than before. He looked around him, eyes went wild in searching for the said familiar face but seeing none of him at the sea of crowd. As his mother released him and brought him near the altar, Alex took a good hold of his right hand and squirmed it gently. He again flashed one of his radiant smile towards Alex, trying to maintain the slowly bubbling worried.

_'Where the hell is he?!'_

Eren screamed mentally but after watching how the priest talking about the day, asking each of them about their vows and how happy Alex looked, the worries buried deep inside of him. All the happiness that radiant inside the place, the excited smiles surrounding them and the vow that Alex told him at the moment make he realised how.....

Wrong it is.....

"Eren, after meeting you in Germany last month, you make my life happier than usual..." Alex voiced his vow. "I feel so great like I can buy the whole world for you. I'm so glad that I met you, Eren. I want you to know how important you are to me, how precious you are to me-"

Alex's voice went ringing inside his ears. All the words that kept coming out from his mouth muffled together, the noises around him went buzz as another voice filled his ears;

_**"It's okay, Eren. I won't go away...."** _

Eren blinked his eyes repeatedly. No, he cannot get distracted now. This is his wedding. He's going to marry Alex and end of discussion! Levi would probably on his way now so, stay calm Eren!

Alex finished his vow by saying 'I love you' to him. Eren smiled and waited for his turn to tell his vow. The priest gestured to him with a nod and a smile, making Eren felt a lot more nervous then before. His palms sweaty and cold all of sudden. He coughed awkwardly and turned his head, looking directly into Alex's brown eyes. "Ehem.." he tested his voice and smiled sheepishly.

"Alex.... when I met you a month ago, I felt drawn towards you and kinda horny at that time.." This earned a good laugh from the crowd at his joke. Eren laughed with them before continued back. "I know we just met and a lot of people thought that we rushed into marriage but I think...." he paused for awhile. Surely this was a good decision, right? The right choice, right? He didn't do any wrong choice, right? He won't regret it later, right?

"Umm... Eren?" Alex's voice snapped him out from his dazed state. He mouthed a 'sorry' to him and finished his vow. "I think I'm ready now to get married and spend the rest of my life with you. Alex, I love you so don't you dare break my heart or else Mikasa will breaks your bones." he said with a somewhat playful tone. The crowd laughed again with a _'Go get 'em Jaeger!'_ erupted from his friends.

When the vows session finished, the priest asked Alex the big question that made the both of their hearts thumps loudly. "Alex Joshua, will you accept Eren Jaeger as your truthfully husband, and stay with him during good times and sickness till death do the both of you apart?"

"Yes, I will." Came the confident answer from him.

"Eren Jaeger, will you accept Alex Joshua as your truthfully husband, and stay with him during good times and sickness till death do the both of you apart?"

"Yes, I-"

"Eren, wait!" A girl's shout stopped Eren from finishing his words. He and the other beings inside the place turned towards the source of voice and saw Mikasa standing at the door with her panting slightly. She took a big breath before rushed forward to where Eren was standing. Eren wanted to ask her why she stopped the wedding but the looks of horror and urgent displayed onto her face made he shut his mouth for good.

The unpleasant feelings from before came back to him as Mikasa's figure reached him at a fast pace. He saw she carried a black device in her right palm and soon recognised it as his smartphone. "I'm sorry to interrupt this wedding today but something had happened." she said to the crowd.

"Eren, you need to read this." she told him as she passed him the black smartphone that Levi gave him for his last year birthday as a present. It was a text from Erwin and it's just sent to him like 30 minutes ago. Eren read the content with the look of confused plastered onto his face.

**_******_ **

_To : Eren_

_From : Erwin_

_Eren you need to come to the hospital right now! Levi was caught in an accident and his condition is bad! Please hurry!_

**_******_ **

"Eren, what is it?" Alex asked him as he watched Eren's face went pale.

"Eren?"

Suddenly, Eren bolted down the altar, ran as fast as he can and out of the church, leaving Alex shouted and ran after him from behind. His parents together with Eren's stood from the seats and hurriedly went to the altar to ask what's going on toward Mikasa. The curious glances and whispers arised in the space, making Eren's friends looked at the way he went with worry.

"What happened just now?" Connie voiced their thought out loud.

"I don't know... I think we should ask Mikasa about it." Armin told them as the whole group agreeing with him.

Meanwhile, Eren was panting hard as he finally get out from the church. He rushed toward his car, unlocked it, started the engine and drove it out from the parking lot. He didn't need to spare a glance at his back to know that he left his wedding, fiance, family and friends behind in a rush. His mind can't completely worked itself as he kept mulled over the text, the fact he got from Erwin that Levi, his bestfriend, his supossed to be best man get caught in an accident and his condition now was critical!

"Fuck!" he cursed loudly. "Fuck fuck..." he said as the feelings, the nagging that he kept feeling when Levi was around him, the way he talked, the way he always helped him to the way he sometimes sent some small smile made sense to him now. All those signs... the signs that Levi shown to him were clearly as day but fuck! He's so blind to catch on it! He's so dense! He kept muttering low curses to himself when he remembered back the time before Levi left the church;

_{ "Hey Eren. I need to go somewhere for a while but I promise you that I will come back in time for your wedding." Levi told him as he kept glancing toward his phone. Eren looked at him and pouted, "But Levi... my wedding will start in 20 minutes or so... Please, can't you postpone the things you need to do now?" he asked him with him trying to do his best cute puppy eyes towards Levi to convince him._

_Levi just sighed and walked near Eren. "I'm sorry but I can't..." he patted Eren's head and made the hair more messier than before. "Hey! I just combed it to make it looks great!" Eren protested. Levi sent him one of his rare small smile that made Eren's heart went wild but he chose to ignore it. "You looked more handsome if your hair like this... And I'm pretty sure Alex will love it too...." Levi's voice went quiet as he finished his sentence._

_Eren looked quite taken aback by Levi's strange behaviour. He felt a little worried toward his bestfriend but he didn't know what to do when Levi's face shown no emotions. "Levi..?" he asked, he really did but the question went died by his tongue when Levi's next words reached his ears._

_"It's okay, Eren. I won't go away..." }_

"Fuck fuck fuck fuck!" Tears of frustration went down from his eyes to his cheeks. Several sobs managed to fall out from his trembling lips as he drove the car like crazy. Many angry honks and curses were sent toward him but he didn't acknowledge any of it. His mind full with Levi, the time they spent together at the college, the way Levi looked pissed off all the time, the details of his face and his beautiful grey eyes to the way he talked, smirks, jokes... everything!

Eren can't stop himself from thinking and worrying over Levi as he pressed more the gas pedal down. All the weird behaviour that Levi shown him, all of it, did it made that he knew his time was going to be over now? Did Levi knew he's going to die, that he's going to leave Eren alone? Did he knew about it but mind to none of it? Was that the reason why he always smile nowadays?

Was it...?

Shit... No he can't die. Not now..

_'He can't die!'_

"Please... please god please. Let Levi be safe. Don't let him die... Please... I love him... Please just please.... Let him live!.." he chanted the words over and over, praying to god to not take Levi's life. He didn't realised how badly he cried even when he reached the hospital's ground. He hurriedly get out from the car, locked it and ran inside the building, completely ignoring the looks that he got and the tears that adorned his face as the thought of _**'Please be safe!'** _ repeatedly echoing in his mind.


	2. On My Own

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I-I... I'm so sorry..." Eren looked at Levi. His peaceful face made Eren's heart clenched painfully tight. "I'm so sorry..." he said it again. "Please wake up..." Eren hold Levi's left hand and squirmed it gently, hoping for any movement or even a tiniest reaction from him but he only got the beeping sound in return. "Please... please don't leave me on my own.... Don't- I miss you so much... Don't leave me..." He cried again. 
> 
>  
> 
> #On My Own  
> #Tokyo Ghoul Root A OST

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I went to the shopping mall yesterday and my destination was the cd shop..i wanted to buy the ACWNR part 2 but there's still no the cd there so i made a choice to buy Tokyo Ghoul cd..better have something than nothing as i went a whole long way just to buy that cd..
> 
> Hmmm*sigh*..anyway enjoy this chapter!
> 
> #unedited

 

 

**Beep... Beep.. Beep..**

 

 

The beeping sound numb his senses after so many days heard it without nonstop. The wires that connected with it and the wires from the IV bags decorated one person on the white bed. The thin blanket that cover the broken body was looking too white, too pure for his taste. Eren's eyes had a big horrible eye bags as the result of not getting enough sleep. His eyes were red and puffy for crying too much this past few days. He sighed as the sound of door been opened sounding in the room.

_'Leave us alone...'_

"Eren, we need to talk." Alex's voice brought Eren to the living. He snapped his attention toward Alex after spending some times watching Levi slightly pale yet peaceful face. Even with the bandages adorned his head, his face still has the bruises that couldn't be hide by it. "Alex..." he tiredly adressed him.

"When will we continue our marriage, Eren?" Alex asked him without playing around in the bush. "It's been a whole month! A month you keep coming to this hospital, to this room to just visit your fucking coma friend!" Alex raised his voice to show how frustrated and angry he was toward his fiance.

Yes, it's been a month when the unfortunate event happened to Levi and Eren's wedding got cancelled. That day Alex had been chased after him with Mikasa trailing behind. They had an argument that really rocky their relationship this bad. If not for Mikasa had been there that time, Eren might already punched the hell out of Alex when he started to insult his bestfriend.

"Will you quiet it down?" Eren hissed. "I'd already told you that I won't do any marriage things before Levi wakes up." he reminded him. "And your family already agreed with it so will you stop pestering over me about our marriage, right now?" Eren glared his way toward Alex's disbelief eyes.

Fierce brown met the tired oceanic one.

"You want me to stop?" he asked Eren with rage slowly bubble inside him. "You want me to fucking stop?! You-" Alex didn't get the luxury to continue his sentence as the door to Levi's hospital room opened, revealing Hanji and Erwin behind it. "I want you to shut your shitty mouth, pig." Hanji's angry voice erupted in the room, managed to shock Eren and Alex.

"Did you just insulted me?" he frowned as he sent some nasty looks toward Hanji.

Hanji stepped inside the room with Erwin stood closely behind her. She shot her glare directly toward Alex with another venom words coming out from her mouth, "You heard me and I need you to get out from this fucking room before I, myself go there and drag your sorry ass out, pig." With this, Alex huffed loudly and stormed his way out from the room, leaving an awkward Eren with a furious Hanji and an usual calm Erwin.

"Hey Eren..." Erwin cut the tension air with him regarded him. "H-Hey Erwin...." Shit, he hated it when he stutters but he couldn't help it when Erwin and Hanji overheard his argument with Alex and his slightly bad friendship with Hanji at the moment. Hanji took the opportunity to seat on the chair next to him meanwhile Erwin sat at the end of the white hospital bed.

They all took their time looking for any reaction from Levi and as usual nothing happened. Only the same monotone beeping sounding in the room indicate that Levi was still alive, still breathing just sleeping for over a month now. The word of 'coma' was prohibited for them, a silent agreement between them. Eren carefully traced Levi's face with his eyes. He looked more paler than usual, the usual pink lips was now dried and chapped. The beautiful skin was now full with scratches.

If he could turn back time.. If he could redo it all back, he will do anything just to prevent Levi from leaving that day.. If.. If he was not so stupid enough that day, this thing won't even happened in the first place! Levi would still awake, smirks, talking, and living as usual! And he won't feel lonely and scared like this....

Eren heard a sigh beside him. "You don't have to be that tense, Eren. I won't bite you." Hanji told him without even spared a glance at him.

Eren didn't realised how tense his whole body was until Hanji told him. He relaxed his shoulders slowly, afraid of what had happened a month ago may happened back at him. He didn't know why that 'thing' had happened to him back then and even now Hanji didn't tell him why she said that to him a month ago. He recalled back the memory where he reached his destination only to see Hanji slumping on the ground with Erwin trying to hold her up in front of the ICU ward.

He still remembered hearing and watching Hanji crying at that time, saying words which were; _'I'm the cause of him getting hurt', 'I shouldn't force him to do it', 'It's my fault Levi is getting hurt'_ and much more. He also remembered when the both of them realised his presence, he tried to ask what had happened but the venom words and accusing finger pointed at him managed to make his whole world stop;

_{ "You... It's all your fault! It's you who're making Levi's life suffered. I won't forgive you! I won't fucking forgive you if Levi dies! I won't!!" }_

Eren blinked his big oceanic eyes, trying to prevent any tears from forming and trailed down to his tan cheeks. He knew why Hanji mad at him before. Erwin told him that Levi was her bestfriend, someone precious to her and that she cared for him deeply. He said that Hanji wasn't in her right mind when she was shouting at him and she didn't mean what she said to him. Eren nodded his head in understanding at that time while looking at Hanji, who was sleeping beside Erwin after her tantrum.

He also recalled how many hours they sat on the chairs, waiting for the surgery to be over and doctors to come out. After nearly 10 hours of waiting, calls from his mother and Mikasa, an argument with Alex, the surgery was done and doctors with nurses were out from the ICU ward. Hanji was already awake when it's done and the three of them stood from the chairs, hissing quietly from the stiff muscles.

_{ "Doctor, how is he? How's Levi?!" Eren asked as soon as he stood in front of the main surgeon he assumed. Erwin and Hanji looked at him but ignored him when the doctor spoke. "I'm sorry to say this but are you his family?" "We're not but we're his friends. He doesn't have any other relatives that lives here. He only has his mother but she lives in France." Erwin quickly took in action, speaking and explaining on their behalf._

_The doctor looked pleased enough as he soon explained to them about Levi's condition. "Mr Ackerman received a hard impact on his head from the car accident. He had a really nasty wound on his head but we managed to cover it up. He also has a few broken ribs and a broken leg. A few scratches on his face and his body but not deadly enough to ruin his skin. And Mr Ackerman also lost too much blood before he came here for the surgery... We.."_

_The doctor looked hesitated to continue his sentence, making Eren felt a lot more anxious than before. "Please doctor... Tell us..." he urged him. He knew something bad might happen but he needed to hear it, he needed to know about Levi so fucking much right now._

_"He lost too much blood and oxygen in his brain..." the doctor said. "He may not awake for the rest of his life but if he did, he may loses his memories because of the hard impact his head got."_

_Eren felt his body went rigid. What? Levi may not wake up for the rest of his life? He may loses his memories? What?? No no no... It can't be. He can't believe this. This must be a dream, a bad dream that he needed to get up right this instant! He pinched his arm, hard and a hiss went out from his lips._

_'It's hurt but why I'm not awake yet???' he questioned himself. And then he heard it, a female was crying behind him. He looked at his back and saw Hanji was crying, really crying with tears, snots all over her face. Erwin looked sad too and a single tear went down from his eyes._

_'No....'_

_The doctor said something but he can't quite reached it. His brain can only processed the words of 'I'm sorry' and 'Be strong' as another waves of tears came down from his already red eyes. It's not a dream he thought. It's real, it's a painful reality for him and he can't... he just can't kept it anymore. Eren fell on his knees, the white clean suit from earlier went dirtied. The reminder of Levi hates dirt popped in his mind, making him sobbed louder than before._

**_"Brat, it's filthy. Get up before I force you and it won't be nice, I promise you."_ **

_That day Eren cried again... And again. }_

"Eren, why are you crying?" A deep voice managed to grab a hold of his hearing. He raised his head, clearly not noticed when he hung his head down and looked at Erwin's concern face. A sob came out from his lips, tears after tears went down, pouring from his corner of eyes. "I-I..." Dammit! He hates when he stuttered.

"I-I... I'm so sorry..." Eren looked at Levi. His peaceful face made Eren's heart clenched painfully tight. "I'm so sorry..." he said it again. "Please wake up..." Eren hold Levi's left hand and squirmed it gently, hoping for any movement or even a tiniest reaction from him but he only got the beeping sound in return. "Please... please don't leave me on my own.... Don't- I miss you so much... Don't leave me..." He cried again. God, he such a crybaby, crying like this at the age of 23 years old. Levi might looked at him with one of his eyebrows up and said;

 _ **"God, you're hopeless without me."**_ and enveloped him in a warm hug like now.

_What?_

Eren went stiff when he realised a pair of arms was hugging him right now. And a soft murmurs of ' _It's okay, Eren.. Everything will be okay. You're not on your own.. I'm sorry for shouting at you before.. I'm sorry...'_ that he realised the second time that day it was Hanji who hugged him and comforted him.

_'You have such a good friend, Levi...'_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've got some troubles to write this chapter..i typed like two different settings before i said "shit,i just do what i want' and i really did..
> 
> Sorry if this chapter kinda boring to you guys..i'll try to make it up on the next chapter..
> 
> As always thank you for reading and kudos!*give loves to all of you* d(owo)b


	3. Which To Bury, Us Or The Hatchet?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You love him..." It's not a question more like a true statement that unconciously stabbed Eren together with Alex's heart. 'I love him???' Eren thought to himself. Did he really loves Levi, his bestfriend? He wanted to say something more but the look of defeated that adorned Alex's face managed to stop Eren.
> 
>  
> 
> #Which To Bury, Us Or The Hatchet  
> #Relient K

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow shits happen....
> 
>  
> 
> Another alternate title: Vogel im Käfig
> 
>  
> 
> #unedited

 

 

The usual Saturday evening came after three weeks of crying and hugging session has happened. Eren carried a black sling bag on his shoulder, contrast to his light brown t-shirt and a dark blue skinny jean. The bag contained some books about the world and mystery theme stories for him to begin his another reading session with Levi. The idea was actually coming from Hanji as she told others that it's better to do something than just sit in the room without doing nothing.

"Mikasa, are you done yet?" Eren called for her from outside of the house. An audible voice unmistakingly sounded like _'Wait a second, Eren!'_ came from inside the house they shared together. Eren fastened his shoes laces and stood to walk toward his car. "Hurry up, Mikasa! We don't want Levi to wait up!" he shouted back.

As he started the engine, the familiar ringtone of his smartphone ringing in the air. Eren put his bag inside the car, fished out his phone and answered the call. "Hello, Eren Jaeger speaking?" "Eren, I want us to meet right now." Alex's deadpanned voice boomed from the other line. "Meet me at the park near your house. No more excuses this time." he ended the call without saying the usual 'I love you' to Eren.

Eren sighed and placed his phone back to its place. He caaught Mikasa's figure running out from the house and went straight toward him from his corner of eyes. "Sorry I'm late. Now let's go." she said to him before opened the passenger side's door. "Mikasa..." Eren's voice made she stopped herself from diving into the car and cast a look toward her brother. "You can drive the car and go to the hospital first. I have something to do right now and I'm sorry but I can't seem to avoid it."

Eren tossed the house keys to Mikasa before dashed out from the house's ground. "Eh, wait Eren!" she said after she caught the keys without fail. "Eren wait!" she called out for him. "Don't worry about me! I'll be gone for a while but I promise to come later so tell Levi that I'm sorry, kay?" came the reply from him. Mikasa sighed before she went to the driver side, ducked inside and drove the car towards hospital's way.

 

_************* _

 

"Hey Alex. What are so important enough for you to ask me to come here?" Eren asked with a small smile as soon as he reached the said park and saw a familiar figure stood under a tree. Alex turned his whole body facing Eren's. His brown eyes looking somewhat distress as he looked directly into Eren's eyes. Eren thought he knew what they're going to talk about. He opted to open his mouth, trying to explain his behaviour and bury the hidden hatchet between them.

"Alex, I know you're mad and sad that I cancelled our wedding and I don't call or even text-"

"Eren... do you love me?"

The oceanic one went wide in shock by the sudden question. Why did Alex asked him this? Before he even get a chance to ask Alex back, another waves of question came slamming onto him. "Do you want to get married with me again, Eren? Do you still love me? Why are you care more about him? Who is he to you? Please Eren, tell me. You love me not him, right? That piece of trash is supposed to die not to ruin our happy live!"

The last statement managed to break Eren from his shock spell. He clenched his fists tight, hoping he won't lash out in anger and sent his heated glare toward his so called fiance. "Alex, I'd already told you to stop and never insult my bestfriend! How come you still do it?!"

"I don't give a damn thing about that bastard!"

Eren looked hurt for a second. The hatred that being shown by Alex made he felt uncomfortable. "Alex.." he tried to use a different approach; a gentle one. "I'd already told you that if you want to be with me, you have to accept who I am, my life, my family and my friends. That is including Levi because he is my best-"

"Look at you!" Alex exclaimed. "You care more about him than me! Even the past month you didn't even call me or send a fucking single text! You also cancelled our wedding and all for the sake of that damn friend!" His shout echoed around them.

The sound of leaves rustling against each other, the chirping of birds and the sounds of children playing around fills the silence. Eren shut his eyes and took a couple of deep breaths to control his bottle up anger. What's going on between them? What's happening to them? Why are they starting to argue since Levi's accident?

Wait....

No, they weren't fighting since Levi's accident, they had been fighting since Alex met Levi and told him to break their friendship. Of course he didn't listen to him so a fight happened between them with Alex forcing him to stay away from Levi and Eren tried to defend Levi and himself.

All the things that had happened between them from when they started to know each other, to when Alex proposed to him, to when Alex didn't agree with him to make the wedding next year in other to know each other more, to when Alex didn't want to make the wedding at the place he liked just to make it near his parents' house, to when he didn't care even if it harder for Eren's parents to come to the wedding, to when he didn't like Eren's plan for their supposed wedding because Alex thought Eren's idea was a crap, to when he forced Eren to break his friendship with Levi and to when he said he didn't like Eren's way of easy going life and friends.

And the one who kept becoming the pillar of his strength was Levi. Levi was the one who always help him. He was the one who always stayed by his side. He was the one who always made him smile when he had a bad day, arguing with Alex or just bad mood in general. It's always Levi who made Eren felt alive, happy and a free caged bird.

But now, he felt like a bird in a cage. The freedom that he felt before was now completely gone when Levi was not by his side.

He realised it again that day.... Everything they have was just an illusion.

It's always him who needed to give up. It's always him who needed to fix their relationship. It's always him who needed to obey and listened like some fucking dog and now he hated it. He hated it so much as the feeling to torn something apart using his bare hands rise within him.

It's just about Alex. Only about himself. There was never 'us' between them. It's only him and him only.

Eren mulled over the things he had thought, things that he somehow openly realised about. Things that he thought before but chose to ignore it as he thought he loves Alex... _'I'm so stupid.'_ Eren prepared himself for the upcoming result. "I'm not a damn dog neither a caged bird..." Eren murmured. "Alex, I'd rather we stop pretending now..." he said, "There's no us, never have us. It's just... you for all the time."

Alex looked shock after hearing his words. He stuttered for awhile. "W-What are you saying, Eren? Of course there is always us! I love you and you love me! The 'us' is exist between us! How come you not see it?!" Alex shouted in utter angry. He cannot believed Eren was trying to deny the sparks of love between them, trying to ask them to stop 'pretending' like he said. Of course he cannot believed it, cannot accept the fact that Eren was slowly slipping away from him.

"I cannot believe this.." he rubbed his face with Eren watching his every movements like some hawk ready to strike at anytime. The feeling of jealousy, anger, and disappointment come crushing his whole being. "I cannot fucking believe this..." he cursed himself for this bad situation. "Eren, how can you said something like that? I love you and I want to marry you! Why are you doing this?" he asked with a desperate tone, hoping Eren would gave him some reason, an actual reason why he said that.

Eren looked so determine, his eyes shine with hidden strength that he never watched before. Eren opened his pink lips, the lips that he wished to kiss again and the thought of that Levi bastard kisses his Eren made his blood boils. "You know why I said that, Alex. I just realised it now that the things we have together isn't truly right. I guess you realised it too but you chose to ignore it."

Eren went silent after that. He didn't know if he should tell Alex the rest of it but if he didn't do it, everything will be a lot more worse than now. He took another deep breath and prepare himself another set of speech toward Alex. "I'm sorry for everything, Alex but I can't keep this relationship anymore. Not when you always try to make me leave Levi. You know that Levi is important to me so I need to put my thoughts and strength for him. Levi needs me as much as I do him..."

"I know you're angry because of it but I cannot help it. If anything is connecting with Levi, I cannot stop myself but to dive inside." Eren chose his words carefully. He didn't want to hurt more Alex's feelings but he needed to do it. He needed to make him realised how wrong they're together, how wrong this 'us concept' between them. He needed to bury the 'us' because he didn't want that. He didn't want it with anyone else except....

"You love him..." It's not a question more like a true statement that unconsciously stabbed Eren together with Alex's heart. _'I love him???'_ Eren thought to himself. Did he really loves Levi, his bestfriend? He wanted to say something more but the look of defeated that adorned Alex's face managed to stop Eren. Alex gulped down the lump that settled in his throat.

He knew that Eren still has some more things to say but he cannot heard it right now. He didn't want to acknowledge the things that Eren said were true with the fact that he's fully lost Eren now. Even so he won't lose that easy. He will fight for Eren's love because he deserved it. He needed to talk some sense to Eren.

"Are you sure that things we have were just faked? You think that I don't care and lo-"

As if Eren knew his intuition, he cut off Alex's speech immediately. "I love him...." Two pairs of eyes went wide in shock and another one with realisation. Eren looked down, the bangs of his chestnut hair covered his eyes. "I love him...." he said it again, as if he just realised his own feelings. "I... I love him, Alex.." Eren chose this moment to lift his head and showed his watery eyes toward Alex. "I love him... but I'm so stupid and blind to notice it. I'm sorry for saying this and hurting your feelings in the process but I mistook what I truly felt for you."

"Before, what I felt toward you isn't love but lust... I like you, really do but I love more Levi and I can't lose him. I love him so much that it's hurt for me not seeing him everyday. It's hurt that I can't see his beautiful eyes, can't hear his voice and laugh, and can't feel the warmth from his touch...." A sob can be heard around them.

"I love him... and I just realised about it that I want to punch my old self." a humourless laugh left his mouth. Eren wiped the tears using his hands, completely avoided the shirt sleeves. "He makes me feel alive, happy and free. I feel like a bird that free from it's cage but now, I feel like a caged bird and I want to stop this, this 'us' and this illusion from going too far."

Alex was trembling at the moment. Everything that Eren said was like a knife that stabbed countless time to his heart. Eren loves Levi not him... He loves Levi... Levi.... The painful reality hit him like a brick wall. His breath ragged as he tried to control his emotions.

"E-Eren...."

"I want to stop this illusion before it gets a lot more worse than now." Eren told him. "If there is 'us', I want to bury it and won't dig it back." The finality of Eren's voice made Alex felt a lot more heartbroken than before. He can't believe it that Eren called their relationship off. He can't believe it...

He hung his head low, avoiding looking at Eren's determine face as he said the next sentences, "So, there's no more between us? No more sparks between us? No more wedding?..." Alex brought his head up, a look of sadness plastered onto his face. "No more hopes?" Eren looked guilty and felt horrible for hurting Alex but he can't helped it. He can't pretended more.

"Yes, no more anything between us. I'm sorry, Alex."

That's it. The last bomb has been dropped. Alex sighed deeply and rubbed his whole face. Another sigh coming from him. _'Looks like I still lost to you huh, Levi? Still, it's partially my fault too.'_ Alex thrown his glance toward Eren and smiled sadly. "I guess this is it... I'm sorry for hurting you back then, Eren. I didn't mean it but still I'm sorry for making you felt like a trapped bird when you're with me." he laughed bitterly.

"Can I get a last kiss?" he asked but quickly got denied by his ex-fiance. "It's better if we don't, Alex..." A small sad smile being gifted by Eren. He huffs in a faked annoyance. "Yeah... it's better if we don't..." Alex started to turn away, leaving Eren's form behind with last sentences to him, "Goodbye Eren. Take care of yourself and him."

Eren stood still under the tree. He watched Alex went far away from his reach and yet he didn't feel any remorse after saying all those things. In fact he felt like a big burden has been lifted from his shoulders. A slowly small smile turned to a big cheerful smile. The first taste of real happiness surrounded him in Levi's comatose state. The freedom that he lost before came back to him. Eren closed his eyes, enjoying these positive feelings before a familiar voice slipped into his mind;

_**"You looks stupid with that shit goofy smile of yours."** _

Eren smiled at that. Yeah, he looked stupid with it but Levi will always tend to apologise later when he saw Eren pouted at him and bribed him with a nice vanilla with chocolate chips ice cream flavoured to him. God, how he missed Levi more after he realised his own feelings for him. "I love you, Levi.." he tested the words with his own tongue and glad that he liked the sound of it.

"I love you, Levi..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another difficult chapter to write...ahh im dead now...as usual sorry for the grammar and spelling mistakes..not in the mode to edit this yet...
> 
> Thank you for reading and kudos!*gives loves to you*


	4. Kodoku

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren cherished his memories with Levi in it. One of it can't help but to make Eren felt fluttered by it. But still, loneliness won't leave him be...
> 
>  
> 
> #Kodoku/ (Loneliness)  
> #Naruto/Naruto Shippuuden

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a short chapter this week..i'll try to make it longer in the next chapter..
> 
> #unedited

 

 

"This is insane, Eren." That was what Eren got from his family's reaction. Although his sister and friends including Hanji and Erwin didn't react that badly when he announced his current status now; - a single man -

"Why Eren? I thought you are happy with him?" his mother, Carla Jaeger asked him with a confused yet sad expression onto her face. Eren looked at her and then turned his attention to his father, to all the people that he knew and cared about. "I just realised what we have is wrong..." he told them and thrown his look at his mother back. "Don't worry, mum. It's a mutual break up and he completely understand it." Eren added more but avoided another important thing which he's in love with Levi.

No one needed to know about that.

"So, you're already called it off. I can't seem to force or advice you to make it up with Alex back if you think this is the best option." his father, Grisha Jaeger hummed in understanding. "But Eren, why are you still wearing the ring?" Eren looked down toward his ring finger and truth to be told there it was, the engagement ring sat proudly over there.

"Shit, I forgot to give it back."

In the end, Mikasa was the one who gave the ring back to Alex. She didn't say anything instead just gave the ring back and dashed back home.

Not before she gave him one of her deadly glares. Poor Alex, really.

Two months passed without a hitch, without nothing bad happened. Eren spent more of his time with Levi but divided it fairly enough with his current work's schedule. He spent their time by talking about his day, reading some books, cherishing his memories with Levi, talking and reading more and so on...

Carla often asked him why he spent so much of his time with Levi. She also made an assumption about Eren having a feeling toward Levi with Eren trying very hard to hide his blush at her words and dashed out from the house hastily.

And today happened to be one of the day where he visited Levi. "Hey Levi..." he said as he stepped inside the white room, looking at the still figure lied on the bed and marched his way towards the chair beside the bed. Eren sat on it without taking his eyes away from Levi. He noticed how longer than before his hair was, how thinner he looked right now, and how those scratches on his face were already healed.

"I don't bring any books today..." Eren said after a long while he sat in silent.

"I guess you might be bored listening to me reading to you everyday, so today I thought that maybe I just talk about us, friends and family in general." Eren continued back. "Well, yesterday your mom with Hanji and Erwin visited you. Hmm, I think you're already know about it but still... They spent like a whole day here before I came by." Eren chuckled at that.

"Oh wait, you didn't tell me how awesome your mother is! Right now she stays at my parents' house. She is slowly becoming my mother's new bestfriend!"

Upon realisation, Eren gasped and laughed a little at that. "I guess our mums are the same as us, huh Levi?" he said and went to grab Levi's left hand and squirmed it gently. The monotone of beeping sound resonant in the room. Eren hesitated, bringing his unoccupied hand to Levi's face and brushed the bangs off his forehead. His hand lingered there for a moment.

"You're cold..." Eren said as he took his hand back to his side. ".... You know, Levi... how long are you going to sleep like this? It's been 3 months now.." Eren talked casually as if Levi would heard him. Well, he secretly hoped Levi did heard him. "I miss you... I miss your shit jokes, your smirks, your voice... I miss our time together... Don't you miss it, Levi?" he asked him and sighed again as there was no reply from the said person.

"It's lonely now.... Without you, I mean..."

**Beep... Beep... Beep..**

"You are torturing me here, Levi." Eren admitted it more to himself but the word of _'torturing'_ make him smiled a little when he remembered back the time Levi tortured him aka ordered him to clean the whole house until it's sparkling like some Disney castle. It's one of the cases where Levi will be gone for several months for his business trip and he came home just to see Eren bought some cakes, tarts and even dark chocolates for him as a 'welcome home' greetings.

But that day, Eren decided to bake some cakes and tarts that Levi loved so much in his own house just to impress and surprised him more. Too bad, he didn't realised how worst he was in baking...

_{ "The fuck you're doing?" Levi's harsh voice went inside his ears like a bolt lighting from the sky. Eren spared a glance at him and smiled sheepishly. "Umm, baking?" he said it like a question when he saw how Levi's eyes glinted dangerously. From where he stood, Levi looked at how messy Eren had become with something white plastered on his hair, face and shirt. Something like a dark substance also adorned his cheeks, a little bit on his shirt and his hands._

_Levi then directed his sharp gaze around the kitchen. The white thingy undoubtedly the flour was everywhere, on the kitchen counter, on the floor with the dark substance which Levi thought was a chocolate together with eggs spattered on the walls, spilled over the counter then onto the floor and dishes in the sink... Not to mention the smell of something burnt clouding in the air..._

_More importantly, the tracks of flour were everywhere in his CLEAN house especially the living room and his kitchen. "Eren... you shitty brat...." he said it low enough with calm demeanor but Eren knew it better. He knew when Levi cursed in calm manner, it was the Levi that you needed to run away. Eren didn't get far enough before Levi grabbed his head and forced him to clean the whole house to his standard._

_Two hours had passed since Eren started cleaning the house but still he found himself redo everything he cleaned before again and again. Much to his dismay, Levi didn't even help him, just ordering him around and inspecting the place clean enough up to his standard. Eren swore that he can saw his reflection on the kitchen counter, courtesy of him wiping it several times._

_"Levi... can't you help me clean this? I'm tired now..." he whined almost making Levi rolled his eyes. "No, you did the mess by yourself so you clean it by yourself, shitty brat." The finality of Levi's voice made Eren slumped onto the floor, not bothering to get up even getting a glare from his bestfriend._

_"Get up, you lazy pup. Or do you want me to force you, hmm?"_

_Eren shivered after hearing Levi's threat but maintain his current position. He pouted and glared at Levi. "You can't torture me like this. It's been a month now we didn't meet because you went to your business trip. You should feel grateful that I tried to bake something for you-"_

_"And why would YOU baked in my house? How did you even got in here anyway?" Levi cut him off._

_Eren huffed at this. "Well, Hanji gave me one of your duplicate keys when I told her about my supposed to be surprise for you but it seems not working now, though." Eren closed his eyes and continued back, "I miss you, Levi. Don't you love me for wanting to surprise you?"_

_Silence surrounded them before a low voice echoed in the room, "I love you, Eren..." }_

"You love me, huh?.." With a blush that slowly creeping onto Eren's cheeks, he felt flutters inside his chest with these butterflies feeling in his stomach like a schoolgirl got notice by her crush. Eren sighed and buried his face in the bed and hold more tightly the hand that he came to love so much. The occasional of Levi's breathing with the beeping sound made Eren felt sleepy. He arranged his head in comfortable position before finally letting his heavy eyelids closed. "What do you mean by that, Levi?" he mumbled the words and fell into slumber.

If only he knew how Levi's heart stopped when he said he missed him and saw the face Levi was making the moment he said he loved Eren back then, he will realised how truly Levi meant what he said a year ago.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is going to be late than usual...i have something to do next week so im going to delay the update time...
> 
> As usual,sorry for any mistakes and thank you for reading and kudos!*gives loves to you*


	5. I'm Not Okay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happened to Levi in his comatose state....
> 
>  
> 
> #I'm Not Okay  
> #My Chemical Romance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for abandoned this fic like in two weeks because i was kinda busy preparing my things to go to uni next month and drawing like crazy so forgive me..
> 
> Anyway new chapter is here!enjoy!
> 
>  

_Something warm was holding his hand, the warm that made him felt a lot more safer than usual. He tried to open his eyes but the task was terribly difficult for him to do it. It's like something heavy was holding his eyelids, making it unbearable tight to open._

_He heard voices around him, a young man, a woman, a deep voice, a hoarse voice, someone was crying, pleading for him to wake up. The name of Levi kept ringing inside his head and he wanted to know who is this Levi person and why these voices won't stop asking him, pleading and crying more for him to wake the hell up?_

_His head hurt so fucking much. It felt like it's going to explode to tiny pieces and turned to dust. He tried to move his hand but fuck, why does his hand also hurt?... Why does his whole body felt hurt? And is that blood all over his body? Levi watched his bloody form, felt how the blood gushing out from his head, and the pain that soared from his ribs, hand and leg make he cursed more and more._

_Everything was dark in here... Cold... Blood... Alone.. Pain.. Pain.. Pain.._

_He screamed, hands grabbing his wet hair in frustration but no one heard it. There's too much blood, too much darkness here. He felt suffocated and he wanted to die, anything to make this horrible feelings, this sickness to fucking go away and never come back. His heart felt too heavy, broken, pain, sorrow and he didn't know why he felt it. Why?_

_"Why does my heart feel so fucking hurt, right now?" he mumbled the words and fell into darkness._

 

_************** _

 

Levi opened his eyes without any obstacles. He looked around him and saw white everywhere. He saw at the very end of his right side, something like a black or rather someone was standing there with his back displayed to him. Levi squinted his eyes in hope to get a better look but to no avail it's not working.

He sighed for the first time and made a beeline towards the said person. After several moments, he reached his destination and shocked to see the person's face.

"Kenny?.."

Kenny or the person who had the same face as his uncle turned to face him. His old face looked the same, with his slightly grey hair, the usual black outfits adding with the black long coat and a hat, Levi couldn't believe his eyes cause the person who was in front of him right now was definitely his long dead uncle, Kenny Ackerman.

"I thought you were dead... Why are you here?" Levi asked, still not quite believed his eyes.

The smirk that was being send to him was still the same as the one he remembered. A laugh resonant around them, filled the white yet quiet place. "Of course I'm dead, Levi. What do you think I'm doing here anyway? The one who should ask that question is me."

Levi furrowed his eyebrows. "Are you saying that I'm dead, Kenny?" Levi said after several minutes of silence surrounding them. The small smile that was present onto Kenny's lips confirmed his assumption.

The memories of Eren's wedding day and the moment when the car hit his body popped inside his mind, making Levi felt dizzy all of a sudden and fell onto the white ground beneath him. His head hanging down, his dark locks covered his pain expression from his uncle's sight.

"I didn't know you're this weak, Levi." Kenny voiced his thought aloud and sighed when Levi didn't react to his low insult like he used to.

"Who's the one that make you this weak, huh?" Kenny said as he sat himself down beside Levi. "Well, I guess I should thank this person for making you cry, huh?" he said again in attempt to make a joke but failed miserably.

_'Shit, I'm not good with these...'_

"Stop crying now, will you? You're not this weak, you brat. You're a fucking soldier so stop this pathetic act!" Kenny raised his voice and managed to avoid the punch that went flying on his way at the last moment. "Fuck you, Kenny. I'm not crying you fucking shitty old man," Levi spat the words with hatred.

"Of course you aren't.." Kenny mocked and received a death glare from his sister's son. He hold his hands up and chuckled, "Mah, mah don't act so hostile with your uncle..."

Levi went silent and took his previous spot on the ground. He looked faraway ahead of him, watching the never endless white in attempt to calm his nerves down but instead he got disturbed by Kenny, who in turn asked about his mother;

"How's Kuchel? She's still alive?"

"She's fine as usual.. She is safe and sound like always." the replies he gave to him.

A hum came from his side before another question caught his eardrums, "So how are your tall sandy haired and green eyes fangirl friends doing?" Levi sent a look that said 'really-what-the-fuck-are-you-awkward-trying-to-do' to him but answered it anyway, "They're already dead." A heavy atmosphere surrounded them.

"... Oh.... didn't know that."

"Of course you didn't." Levi grumbled under his breath. "You don't have to be friendly with me, Kenny. You're suck at it so stop it." he said more.

"You have point there..."

"Course I have." he retorted.

Kenny smirked at his nephew. Same old Levi was still there, he thought to himself. "Well Levi, can you hear it?"

"Hear what, old man?"

"The voices..." Kenny said as he lied himself down and closed his eyes.

"Huh, voices? I don't hear any-" Levi didn't get the chance to finish his sentence when a familiar voice sounding around the place.

**_"Hey, Levi..."_ **

Silver one widen in realisation. "Eren?!" Levi stood from his spot and looked around. "Eren?!!" he called again but there's no reply from the said person instead Kenny's voice taking a hold of his hearing. "I take that you can hear it Levi but trust me, he can't listen to you cause he's not here and you're in between the line of alive and death."

Levi went silent for awhile but spoke again in annoyance, "And I bet that you still hold some important information from me."

"Bwahhaha!! You bet right, Levi!" Kenny opened his eyes and shot his look directly toward Levi. "And if you can hear the voices, it means that you're still alive but unconscious or some shit like that..." Kenny smirks again, "Or... you also don't want and not ready yet to confront the reality, the world that you lived right now."

Levi's eyes went wide at the words. He knew what Kenny said have some of its truth. He sighed and rubbed his face and neck to relief some of the stiff muscles.

"God, I hate when you're right." This earned a bark of laughter from Kenny. He roused himself to sitting position and put the same ol' hat beside him. "Well damn I'm right. We, the Ackerman always run or tries to hide away from the pain that we feel with our stoic facade." Kenny chuckled to himself. "Not to say that I also did that back then.." The smug tone gone from Kenny's as he finished his words.

Levi spared a glance at him before sat back on the ground. "Yeah, you fucking did it. You left us alone to attend ourselves and let me remind you-" Levi glared his way to Kenny, "-we almost died back then after you left us. Oh how I wish to fucking kill you when I found you back but no, fate got to you first." he sarcastically finished his speech.

"I died..."

"You fucking died.."

"Because of an illness...

"You deserved it." Kenny scoffed at this. He shook his head and put back the hat, covered his slowly turning grey hair in return. He stood from his sitting position, dusting himself from any imaginary dust and took a turn to leave. "Where the hell are you going?" Levi asked him.

"I'm going to give you some space. I know you don't want to spend your time with me after I left Kuchel and you but I had my reasons behind my action." Kenny told him as he walked further away from Levi. "But I will visit you back after you calm enough so we can talk more.."

"And if I don't want to?"

"Pfft.. I can't just leave my nephew here alone, moping in his own misery and die for sure now, is it?" Kenny turned to look at him and smirked. Levi furrowed his eyebrows, eyes glinted dangerously. "Like hell you care about me. You have your time before to show it to me and my mother but you didn't take the chance and yet somehow, after you die, you want to show how you care about me? Fuck no."

This time it was Kenny's turn to furrow his eyebrows. He sucked on his teeth, letting the 'tch' sound echoed in the white empty place. "I told you that I had my reasons as to why I fucking did that." he turned his whole body facing Levi's small one. "Why can't you understand it?"

"And why can't you just tell me now?!" Levi rise again from the ground. "You know how I thought you like a father because I don't have one to begin with! You know mom doesn't have others! She just has you, her only family member! And yet you still leave us alone, you fucking moron!!" Levi screamed on top of his lungs. Frustrated, anger, sadness, hatred, all mixed together in his scream.

His scream echoed around the place. His body shook slightly from the barely contained anger, his breathing raged as he tried to take a large, deep breath to maintain his current self. "Why can't you tell me now, you old man....." His voice small and raw, clearly not the voice that Levi used too but Kenny only saw a small Levi standing in front of him, clothes dirty and ragged with his form shaking and crying.

Fuck, it's all because of him. It's his fault, his wrong choices all alone. He sighed at that. Thinking about past mistakes won't take him to anywhere. He closed his eyes, turning his back to face Levi's one, "... I can't be a good big bro for her... and I can't seem to be a good parent for you, Levi..." There, he said it. "I only brought bad influence to you and with my shady business back then, I know that it will affected both you and Kuchel in the future. That's why I chose to leave."

"I'm sorry, Levi..." with that Kenny disappeared into nothingness.

 

_************** _

 

Levi spent most of his time listening to the voices around him. Sometimes he recognised some of the voices and sometimes he didn't. He can heard Eren's voice like everyday with him talking to him about his days, about their times together. He also read some books to Levi which he quite enjoyed it. The other times, he can heard his mother's voice, happy but still sad within it. Hanji and Erwin were also there with Mikasa talking and joking like he didn't sleep at all.

And sometimes Kenny came to visit him like he said. After the shouting and confession session between them, they can tolerated each other presence more than before. And today just happened to be the day Kenny visited again.

"Can't you just leave me alone?" his first word after he somehow managed to felt his uncle's presence behind him.

"Nope," came the reply from that said person.

"Fuck you, old man." Still, it's not like he can't stop his old habits in cursing at Kenny even after their rocky relationship had been reconciled. Oh hell no, he won't. "How long are you going to stay here, Levi?" Kenny asked him as he sat himself down beside Levi. Levi shrugged his shoulders in lazy manner and went to stare ahead of him, watching the calmness of white around them.

Kenny joined his nephew in staring into nothingness contest. He sighed after several minutes of silence. He can't stand silence after all. "You know that you can't stay here forever, Levi. It's not good for you and for your friends out there." Kenny reminded him for the hundred times now. Levi groaned and spared a glance at his uncle.

"Will you stop that?"

"What?"

"You know what. Just stop asking me how long I'm going to stay here. You know why I don't want to go back yet. I'm not ready to face the reality..." Levi stared back in front of him, a pain expression mirrored his usual stoic face. "I need more times to prepare myself for the reality. I need more strength and somewhat I feel at peace in here." Levi told Kenny the reasons why he didn't want to go back yet.

He also told him the reason why he's here in the first place a few days earlier; his bestfriend aka his love one was already married hence to his car accident that led him to comatose state. "I can't bare to see his happy face when he looks at someone else and I can't bare to see his sad face when he knows that I involved in some stupid car accident and watching my undoubtedly injured state right now." Levi hung his head down and grumbled under his breath.

"You're in a deep shit now, Levi." Kenny smirked and laughed more. "Yeah, I'm fucking sure about that. Now, stop laughing, Kenny." Levi retorted. Kenny stopped his laugh and chose to stare ahead again. "Of course it is peace in here." he said, "It's because you still can hear their voices, the white that surrounding us and you can't feel the pain that your body is dealing with now."

"Also, there's no any disturbance like in the living world." Levi chided in.

"Hah, that too!"

"But you still want me to go back." Levi said it more like a statement. He knew that he can't stay here but the painful and broken that awaiting him in the living world kept making him hesitated to go back. Not to mention that the peaceful time here was also making Levi glued more here instead.

"Of course I want you to go back. This is not your place. This place is for the dead and someone who's ready to die. Your place is out there, the living world with Kuchel and this Eren person." Kenny told him or more like scolded him like a parent would do to their child. A small smile forming on Levi's lips. "Are you throwing me out, Kenny?"

Kenny smirked more, "Hell yeah, I'm fucking throwing you out! Now go back to your world, Levi and be the Ackerman that everyone fears about." He punched Levi's shoulder a bit too hard, making Levi winced in the process. "That hurt, you shitty old man." Levi rubbed the pained shoulder and moved to stand from the ground.

"I don't know, Kenny. I don't know whether I can face the fact that Eren is with someone else now." Levi voiced his worried. "I don't know whether I can keep myself like how I used to or just failed miserably. I don't want to worry them more... Mom, Eren, Hanji, Erwin, Mikasa... I don't want to worry them."

"If you don't want, then go back now, Levi."

Levi spun around, looking at Kenny with wide eyes. Obviously, he didn't expect the gentle tone was coming out from Kenny's vulgar mouth. He felt absurd. "Are you Kenny? Why are you different just now?"

"Oh please, brat. I can be fucking gentle if I want. I just don't know when or how to do it." he exclaimed. Kenny stood beside him, hand gripping one of the shoulder and squirmed it gently. "I'm sure you can face it, Levi. Like how you can stay strong for Kuchel and replace my place when she needs support." Kenny smile, a sad one yet comforting for Levi. "If you truly love this Eren, you can let him go and try to move on and be happy for him. It won't be that bad. I'm sure of it, Levi. You still have others that will help you always. And if you're right about this Eren person, I bet he will stay by your side even if he did get married."

Levi smiled again. Yeah, maybe Kenny was right. Maybe he can faced it like how he did back then. If he can't and fell to the ground, others will help him to get the hell up. "Hmm, you're right, Kenny. I think I should go now." Levi said as he too placed his hand on one of Kenny's shoulder. This is it. The last moment before he took his departure and went back home...

Yeah, home...

"Goodbye, uncle. It's nice seeing you again."

"Yeah, brat. It's nice seeing you too." Kenny patted his head and turned to leave. This time leave forever. Levi watched Kenny's form blending in with the white and gone from his eyesight. He heard Eren's voice talking to him with the warmth on his hand coming back. Levi clutched the warm hand and closed his eyes.

He's going home now. Even if he won't be okay after this, he will fight to be okay back. For his mother's sake, for Eren's sake, for everyone's sake and for his own sake. Levi took a good deep breath and exhaled it slowly. With Eren's voice resonant in the background and Kenny's advice in his head....

"I'm going home..."

 

_************** _

 

Beep... Beep... Beep... Beep...

_{ "If you truly love this Eren, you can let him go and try to move on and be happy for him. It won't be that bad. I'm sure of it, Levi." }_

Beep... Beep... Beep...

"Levi....?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ohh longer chapter...and some background history about levi..not really a background but whatever..
> 
> Anyway sorry for any mistakes and thank you for reading and kudos!*gives loves to you!*


	6. Lost Rain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi blinked his tired eyes. His mind was still groggy after awakened from his god knows how long sleep. He gulped down some of his saliva to treat his raw throat. "Who is Levi...?"
> 
>  
> 
> #Lost Rain  
> #Diaura

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woohoo~ only 2 chapters left before this fic reaches it end!i cant wait to write the ending...
> 
> Anyway enjoy this chapter!
> 
>  

 

 

"And then the one who he suspected as a murderer turns out to be an innocent guy and the next victim for the psychopath killer."

The voice that sounded like a static slowly becoming more clear to him. He can felt his limbs and tried to move it only to find out he can barely moved them. The pain that he felt before came in full motion, making he groaned lowly. The person who spoke earlier went quiet after hearing it. He tried to open his eyelids with difficulties and furrowed his eyebrows in the process.

"Levi...?"

He heard someone calling. He tried again to open his eyes and finally he did it just to close it again as the brightness of light assaulted his eyes. "Ugh..." he blinked his eyes repeatedly to adjust it with the brightness. When he thought it was enough, he opened it back and tiredly roamed his eyes around the white room only to stop as a figure loomed over him, blocking the bright's path.

He watched a young man looking down at him, eyes went wide as if he was shocked. He saw the young man was clutching a dark covered book against his chest and realisation hit upon him that the voice that greeted him awake was indeed this young man's voice.

Tears slowly filled the big eyes and fell onto his face. He blinks his eyes again and focused more his attention to the face in front of him. "Where..." he cleared his throat, feeling it sore and dried before speaking again. "Where am I..?" The green or is it blue eyes widen again.

A smile being flashed at him. A bright smile that managed to blind him over with a hand grabbed his own. Even the eyes filled with tears, he wondered how can a smile be so beautiful that he wanted to capture it. "You're at the hospital, Levi."

Levi?

Levi blinked his tired eyes. His mind was still groggy after awakened from his god knows how long sleep. He gulped down some of his saliva to treat his raw throat. "Who is Levi...?" he heard his voice said the words. The person in front of him flinched. Levi can physically felt the hand that hold his own grew rigid as the question left his mouth.

"What?.."

Levi saw how that beautiful face slowly being clouded by confusion and disbelief expressions "What are you saying, Levi? You are Levi. Your name is Levi. Don't play dumb, will you?" That young man tried to laugh but the constant confuse expression on his face managed to stop him. Levi then watched their entwined hands.

"Why are we holding hands?" Levi asked him. That young man tried to find some explanation but the next words that leaves Levi's mouth made his blood ran cold. "... And who are you? Why are you here? Do I know you?.."

 

_************** _

 

Eren saw Hanji's figure together with Erwin and Mrs Ackerman from afar. "What happened, Eren?" Mrs Ackerman asked when they reached him. "I-I don't know. It happened so fast. I just read some books to him and saw him opening his eyes. I was so happy but in the next, he said he didn't know who is Levi and who I am. I didn't know what to do t-then I called the doctor a-and they came and they told me to wait outside s-so t-they can..."

A sob made its way out from Eren's trembling lips. His body shook slightly and he kept rambling on how everything felt absurd to him until Hanji snapped him out of it. "Hey, Eren! Knock it off! Pull yourself together!" She shook his shoulders a bit too harsh but it still worked to keep Eren out from his current state.

"I'm sorry...." Eren hung his head down, unable to look at everyone's eyes. "It just, it's been four months, four months without any reactions and today he woke up. He finally woke up, Hanji... Just to not remember me..." he clenched his fists tight, his knuckles turned white from the pressure.

He didn't hear the tale tell of heels clicking on the tiles instead he felt more a pair of arms circling around him. "I know how you feel, Eren.." Mrs Ackerman said to him. She stroked his hair slowly and continued back her speaking, "... All the hopes and happiness come crushing down for the second time and the light that you care so much suddenly vanished from you. I know that feelings so well.."

"Mrs Ackerman...." Eren tried to say more but she stopped him. "Shhh... Eren. I know you care about my son and you see him as a light in your life. I can't deny it but Levi is also the sources of light in my life.." she cradled his face and looked into his oceanic ones. "When I found out that he's involved in an accident, I freaked out and I thought that I was going to die there but when I see how you care about him, how you fight the urges to succumb into sadness, I know that I can't lose that easily."

"Levi had been strong for me back then when his uncle, my only brother left me. Even now, he still stay strong for me and not dead yet. Even if something is wrong with him after this, he still here for us, Eren so, in return for his strength to us, we need to stay strong for him and show a path for him to come back. Do you agree with me, Eren?"

She looked at Eren lovingly, like how a mother would do her child. Eren felt somewhat at ease after listening to her long speech but not completely sure of himself. Yet, he still found himself nodding to her. "Thank you, Mrs Ackerman."

"I told you to call me Kuchel, didn't I?"

"Uhh yeah sorry. Thank you, Kuchel san."

The door to Levi's room opened, revealing a doctor with a nurse who were in charge for Levi's state. "Can I speak to Mrs Ackerman in private?" the doctor asked as he sent away the nurse who accompanied him earlier. Kuchel looked at the doctor, "Can't we just talk here? I don't want the three of them to live in dark about Levi's condition." she gestured with her hand toward Eren, Hanji and Erwin.

"If you say so..." the doctor said. "Well, I guess it's a miracle that Mr Ackerman-"

"You can just call my son Levi. It's kinda weird hearing everyone calls him Mr Ackerman." Kuchel said with a small smile adorned her lips. The doctor nodded, "Well, alright. As I said earlier, it's a miracle that Mr Levi awakened. With the head injury that he got four months ago with a blood lost and lacked oxygen in his brain, we completely made a diagnosis that he won't wake up due to the bad state he was in before." the doctor explained.

"And you were already being informed that even if he wakes up which he did, he may loses some his memories because of the hard impact his head got."

The memories when the doctor told them that Levi might lose his memories surfaced in Eren's mind.

"Are you're saying that my son truly loss some of his memories?" Kuchel was glad that she still can maintained her voice from quiver. The expression on the doctor's face make her stomach turned into painful knots. Unknowingly to her, the three crowds behind her also felt the same thing. "Human brain is still something that science cannot fully reveal yet but I hope you can stay strong for him because Mr Levi doesn't just not remembered the event that caused him getting here in the first place... He loses all of his memories, Mrs Ackerman."

A gasp left her mouth. Silent tears slide down on her face. "You meant to say that Levi doesn't remember anything? His friends? His life?... Even me??.."

The apologetic look that being sent to them was clear enough for them to know it's true. And the sentence of 'No, Mrs Ackerman' strengthen the fact that Levi was indeed loss all of his memories. Kuchel's body shook as she cried silently, mourning for her son's condition with Hanji supporting her body and spoke courage. Erwin went to tend with the doctor more while Eren was trying hard not to fall again on the floor and cried his eyes out.

 

_**-One week later-** _

 

Several knocks from the outside of the room startled Levi from his dazed state. "Come in.." he said but never take his eyes off from watching outside the glass window. "Hey... Levi..." The same young man's voice which he became used to in a week sounding from the door.

"It's pretty outside, right?" Levi said when he heard the sound of someone coming closer and a chair scraped against the tiles. "Yeah, it is..." the young man answered. "I want to go outside..." Levi voiced his thought aloud. "... but the doctor won't allow me cause my condition is still not promising enough." he continued to complain about the unfairness he received.

"That glasses girl and blond guy came today. She talked too much that I can't quite caught what she said. I guess her name is... Hanbe?"

"Hanji."

"Yes, Hanji," Levi nodded his head. "... and that blondie is Erwin, I guess... Erwin needed to tell me back all the things that Hanji told me." he chuckled and spared a glance at the young man. "She told me that we are bestfriend. Is that right, Eren?"

Eren smiled and nodded his head. "Yeah, we are... bestfriend. We started to know each other at the college. You were 20 and I was 18 back then. It was quite crazy first meeting actually." he laughed a little at the memories. Somehow, the word 'bestfriend' was hard for Eren to say it. He hoped Levi didn't realised how hard he tried not to cringe at the word because he wants more than that and watching how the soft light basked Levi in it's warmth made Eren fell deeper than before.

Levi tilted his head and smiled, "Will you tell me more about that day? Hanji only told me the short version and she said if I want to know more, I have to ask you myself."

God, that smile...

"Of course I'll tell you. It's our memories anyway so you have the right to know about it." Eren said while he prepared himself to tell Levi about their encounter five years ago;

_{ "Excuse me! Pardon me! Sorry!" Eren said as he dashed between people that swarmed the hallways while drinking his hot coffee from the nearby cafe. "My god! This is so hot- Sorry!" Eren side stepped at the last moment, avoided from colliding with one of the girls standing in the hallways._

_'Fuck, why does they stand in the middle of the hallways?! Can't they see I'm rushing here?!' Eren screamed mentally. He didn't realised someone from behind accidentally tripped on the floor, making the person right behind him stumbled ahead and collided with his back. Eren's body moved forward from the force and unluckily, he stood in front of the stairs at the time, ready to go down before this accident happened._

_Eren tried to balance his body but failed as gravity took a hold of him. His hands flung around, trying to grab something to break his fall and yes, he managed to hold something but no, he still fell from the stairs while bringing the 'something' that he held at the moment._

_"Ouch!"_

_"FUCK!"_

_Eren felt his vision went blurry. He tried not to move fast instead he chose to sit on the floor, trying to regain his composure. The first thing his brain recognised was his left shoulder hurt like a bitch and the burn sensation on his sticky chest. He looked down and saw his used to be coffee marked his shirt and pooled on the floor._

_The next thing he realised was the word of 'fuck' being repeated beside him. Surely, that wasn't coming from him as he tried to take in what had just happened. "You fucker..." a deep with a strained pain voice reached his eardrums._

_Yep, definitely wasn't his as Eren turned his head to find the source of the voice and saw an angry with dark scowl adorned a guy's face. "You broke my ankle, you fucking brat." the guy said with menacing aura, making Eren shivered with fear._

_That's when Eren realised it for the second time that day. The 'something' that he took a hold wasn't something but SOMEONE as the said person looked like he readied to kill Eren at any moment. "Fuck, shit, I'm sorry! I didn't know that I was going to fall from the stairs! Someone from behind me pushed me and I can't stop the falling so I grabbed what near me in reflex! I swear to god that I didn't mean to break your ankle-"_

_A deadly glare was sent toward him, making Eren whimpered at the end of his statement. 'Shit, this guy is dangerous! I don't want to die!' Eren thought to himself, looking down as he was afraid to look at the angry handsome man._

_Very angry handsome man._

_"Fuck, I can't walk like this." he heard the stranger said it. "Well, you guys don't have anything better to do than stare at us?!" the said stranger barked at the people around them, making them ran away from the stairs hurriedly. Eren heard the stranger sighed and offered another apology. "I'm so sorry..."_

_"I don't need your apology." he said as he tried to stand but winced when the pain shot through his ankle. "Fuck... This is horrible than I thought..." he said and went back to sit on the floor. "Ugh, this shitty dirty floor..."_

_Eren felt guilty. The pain that he endured went forgotten as he stood from his place and went to help the angry stranger to stand. "The fuck you're doing?" a harsh question came flying toward him. "I'm going to bring you to the medic room to treat your broken ankle. Take this an apology for taking you down with me and broke your ankle in the process."_

_The stranger scoffed. "And for making me covered in filth." Eren's eyebrows shot upwards. So this guy is a clean-freak? Not that Eren cared but it added more into the guilt list. "I'm so sor-"_

_"I said I don't need your apologies, brat. If you still want to, treat me an apple pie then I will considered it."_

_"Really?" Eren's eyes shined with determination. The stranger was awestruck by the brightness in Eren's oceanic eyes. He was left speechless and just nodded when Eren asked him, "Okay, I will buy lots of apple pie for you! Oh, by the way, my name is Eren. Yours?"_

_'So this guy name is Eren huh? Not bad.'_

_"Levi." }_

"Can't believed that I broke my ankle at our first meeting." Levi said as a small laugh coming out from his lips. "Yeah, that's why I told you our first meeting was crazy." Eren said and grinned more. "How do you feel, Levi?" he asked and went to pour a glass of water for him. He handed it to him which Levi accepted it gladly.

"I feel better even though I still don't remember everything. I just hang to the stories that you guys told me about who I am." He told Eren after he gulped down the water. A comfortable silence fell upon them. Eren took a turn to hum some of the songs he and Levi loved to hear before.

He remembered back the time when Kuchel told him that Levi was their sources of light and hope. He also remembered that they need to stay strong for Levi and show the paths for him to come home. Eren was more than willing to do it. This time, he will do anything for Levi. He will protect him like how Levi did to him and he hoped that he won't loses any strength before the times come. Praying ahead, he wanted light to be in their unset future.

After several minutes of silence, Levi broke it off with "I can't believe that I have such a vulgar mouth," to which Eren couldn't help but to laugh aloud at those statement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter turned to be a lot longer than i wanted..can you see what i did to levi's character after he awakened?yes he smiles a lot and gosh,i want levi to smile more!he's so cuutteeee when he smiles!
> 
> Btw sorry for any mistakes and thank you!*gives loves to you*


	7. Glassy Sky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let's visit Levi's memories, shall we?
> 
>  
> 
> #Glassy Sky  
> #Tokyo Ghoul Root A OST

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaahhhhhhhh sorryyyyy for not updating ages ago! Like i said before, i was busy, like really busy nowadays but i finished one of my assignment so i had quite a few free time now then i decided to write new chapter!woohooo~~~
> 
> btw, enjoy reading!
> 
>  

 

 

 _"Big bro! Wait up! AAAHHHHHH!!!! Farlan, you piece of shit!!" A girl's scream resonant in the empty park._ _  
_

_"Isabelle, you shouldn't let Levi's crappy mouth affected you. Levi, you need to fix this!" A boy with sandy haired and the taller one between the three of them said and looking straight to the other boy with raven hair. The said addressed boy, Levi just rolled his eyes. "I didn't do shit, she's the one who follow it so it's not my fault. And I'd already told you before, if you want to befriend me, you need to suck my attitude up and shut up." Levi said and much to his pleasure, the other one just rolled his eyes and shook his head._

_" It's not Big bro's fault, Farlan. It's you, who deserved it. How dare you put that caterpillar on my head?! You know that I can't stand those in-in-invertebrate thingy!" Isabelle cried out in anger and lurched onto Levi's arm. " Big bro.... help me. I hate him and that boneless creature." she whined and sobbed lowly. Levi just sighed and turned to look at his 10 years old friend. The look on his face clearly said  'fix this up' , making Farlan sighed again._

_"I'm sorry, Isabelle. I didn't mean to make you scared. I just wanted to play around..."_

_Isabelle didn't answer, just pouted at him. Levi shook his head and took this problem into his own. "He won't do it again, I promise." Levi said and patted the nine years old girl's head. "Just forgive him already. He's your friend, right?" The teary green eyes looked at him and closed for a moment before turned to look at the guilty boy. "I forgive you but after this, I won"t!" Isabelle finally said with a big grin on her face._

_Farlan smiled and the three of them continued to play like there's nothing wrong in this world...._

_Yet somehow, it is wrong..._

 

_************** _

 

"You're already awake, Levi?"

Levi rubbed his tired eyes and slowly sit up in the bed. " Yeah...." he said, not quite get a hang on in his current sleepy position. "Where's Eren, Mum?"  Levi asked after he didn't heard Eren's voice in the room but didn't spared a glance at his mother's way. He slowly realised the room was completely silent and directed his sight onto his mother, who was sitting on a chair beside his bed and currently looked like she just saw a ghost. "Mum, are you okay?" That sentence managed to break Kuchel from her shock state. She blinked her eyes and unknowingly to her, a silent tear slide down from her face.

"Mum, why are you cry-"

"It's been a long time you did call me Mum."

Levi went silent after that. _'It's been a long time? How long is that?_ ', he wondered. "Why did I stop called you Mum before?" Levi asked. Even if he nervous to know the reason of why he stopped calling Kuchel as Mum, he still needed to know about it and who he was back then. "You don't have to keep it secret, Mum. I want to know about it and I'm not afraid of knowing the truth. I'm not a kid anymore." Levi said again as he realised Kuchel was indeed hesitated in telling him the truth.

"It's okay, Mum." he reassured her.

Kuchel folded her hands onto her lap. Reluctantly, she started to open her mouth, "... You were quite changed after you bestfriends died 10 years ago." Levi eyebrows shot upwards. 10 years ago? "My bestfriends died?" Kuchel nodded her head at her son's question. "Your other bestfriends when you were still living in France." She said as she saw the look of confusion still adorned her son's face.

"Did you meant the boy named Farlan and the girl named Isabelle?"

"You remember them?" Kuchel felt shock at hearing those two names coming out from her son's mouth but happy to know that he remembered the names of his childhood bestfriends. Levi shook his head. "I kinda dream about them earlier before I wake up." he said and went to look outside the glass window. The sky was cloudy and glassy for today. No birds were chirping and flying around outside. Today was slow as ever... Why did he felt like something, a feeling that told him that today was somewhat important to him, a day that he should, NEEDED to remember but somehow he can't. It felt like something was blocking his memories away, locking it behind a barrier that won't allow him to open it.

Kuchel went quiet after she realised her son was looking outside the window. She watched how his face looked trouble but chose to let him be for a moment, chose to let Levi made his own decision whether or not to pursuit these painful memories. It's okay for her, she thought, cause she understood that Levi needed some time to remember and took everything that he learnt slowly.

"What are their full names?" Levi asked suddenly but still didn't look at his mother.

Kuchel smiled fondly at the memories of Levi and his two childhood bestfriends. "Well, Farlan's full name is Farlan Church and Isabelle is Isabelle Magnolia." If Levi did realised how she used the present tense as if they were still alive, he chose not to say anything about it. "Farlan is the same age as you while Isabelle is a year younger. Farlan is a confident boy but lack a superior charm in him as he always refers to you about everything..." she chuckled at that. "Isabelle, umm.. she's quite a loud among the three of you, acts like a boy and very look up to you. She also calls you-"

"Big bro..." Levi chided in.

"As if you're her older brother." Kuchel smiled again. "Farlan and Isabelle both are the only child in their family so that was why she calls you Big bro and Farlan thinks of you as his superior, someone who can take a good care of them and indeed, you took a good care of them." Levi closed his eyes while slowly bringing his head toward his mother's way. "How did they...die?" The ever lowly voice came out from Levi's mouth.

Kuchel didn't talk for a moment, thinking about how she should tell him, finding and arranging carefully each words so that Levi's heart won't break all over again. She didn't want to lose her son all over again after this but sugar coating the past won't help her son's condition. _'It will make things worse.'_ She took a deep breath, counting from one to ten and let the memories and emotions flowed inside her.

"The three of you... were so close and cannot be separated. You guys will always spent times at the park, two blocks away from our home, playing soldier, hide and seek and almost everything in the game, you will always be their leader. We, you were so happy back then until when you reached 15, the unfortunate event happened."

"It was... a cloudy day like this, no birds, no laughing... Just an empty neighbourhood that day. You can't spend your evening with them because you had to come with me to the shop to buy some groceries, and Isabelle, she had to stay with Farlan for that day because her parents went out town for work... And then...some pranks involved with fire went wrong, fire started to burn the house... Farlan and Isabelle can't get out. When we came back, the fire was already gone and the police found their bodies upstairs in Farlan's bedroom, hugging each other to death....." Kuchel stopped talking. She can't seem to say more when the memories of Levi's face, how he looked like he wanted to cry but stop himself, stopped the tears before it even formed like how he stopped crying when Kenny left them behind. Only that time, the small light in his eyes gone along with his bestfriends' life.

"And today just so happen to be their 10 years death..."

"I see..." So that was what those feeling for. Today was the date where he lost his two bestfriends, the day where he stopped calling his mother Mum and the day where he completely changed. "Did polices caught them?"

"They did caught them so Levi, _please, forget those revenge._ " Kuchel told him, making Levi snapped his head up faster.

"What?"

" That's what I told you back then, Levi. You swore to find out who killed your friends and it's not healthy. When I got the news where the polices managed to caught the prankers, I hurriedly told you so that you can stop hurting yourself more. You did stop but you slowly drifting away from me and when you reached the age of 18, you moved out and came here instead." Kuchel finished her words by calmly holding her son tight knuckles.

When did he clenched his fists?

" **'** **Let the past go, Levi. Farlan and Isabelle are already at a nice place. You need to stop blaming yourself over for their deaths. They won't be happy if they found out that you're torturing yourself like this'.** I'd really want to tell you that but I don't have enough strength before..." the hold of her hands went tight. "Levi..," Kuchel looked into his silver eyes, ".. I'm so sorry for not being a good mother to you back then. I'm so sorry for making you became hard and unemotional person like this... I'm so sorry for turning you into something that a child like you before shouldn't be. I'm so sorry for that, Levi. Please, forgive me."

Tears after tears slide down from her eyes. Regrets after regrets came crushing down onto her old body. She's not qualified to be a mother to a son that strong like Levi. She's not a good mother that a child can depended on her. She's so weak that sometimes she hated herself for it. And with a small smile being thrown into her way, her dark thoughts stop its track.

"It's not your fault, Mum. As your son, I need to be strong for you because we don't have others to help us. It's okay to be weak, as long as someone is there to guide us a long the way like how you guide me now. If you're weak, you won't be here right now." Levi wiped the tears away from his mother's wrinkles face. "And the one who needs to apologise is me. I'm so sorry for distancing myself away from you. I'm sorry for making you worried and I'm sorry for everything."

Kuchel smiled a little at that. Leave it to Levi to make all matters okay. "It's better if the both of us apologise, right?" Kuchel said earning a breathy chuckle from Levi. "Yeah, it's better that way."

Knock knock.

A several knocks sounded from the door, alerting Levi and Kuchel of a new visitor standing outside the door. "Who?" Levi questioned. "Maybe Eren. Come in." Kuchel said as she wiped the tears that was pooling in her eyes and got up from the chair to greet their visitor for today.

 

_************** _

 

"Ah shit! I'm late now, late late late!" Eren dashed between people on the passageway, targeting the hospital as his next direction after his workplace that morning. _'I hope Levi doesn't get bored or rather mad at me cause I promised to come earlier today. Argh, it's Jean's fault that I'm late today!'_ Eren fastened his walk, making sure he just look like someone who just power walk not running caused that might earned some weird glances by other people but-

 _'I DONT GIVE A SHIT!'_ Eren ran all the way to the hospital.

Wonders why he didn't used his car....

Well it seemed like Mikasa, his adoptive sister together with his another bestfriend, Armin had already used his car to go to the neighbouring city, Trost City which took like an hour or so to reach there. So Eren, being the kindhearted guy and brother had offered them his car to go there. Then he opted to just walked to his workplace and to the hospital which of course, he's later than usual already.

When he reached the hospital's ground, Eren high five himself, proud by his not so fast pace running. Either way, he walked at leisure pace, passed the usual and familiar hallways in the four months period where he came here often to visit Levi... _Oh shit. Levi is waiting for him and he is fucking late and Levi hate when people aren't punctual. Shit shit shit shit..._ He'll be dead today. He was so sure about it.

Eren ran again, making sure his steps were light as to not disturbed other patients, doctors and of course, not to alert the nurses that he was running in the non-running zone place. He saw Levi's hospital room, relief washed over him with a grin plastered onto his lips. When he neared the door, he raised his right knuckles, ready to knock the door, only to hear the sound of laughter coming from inside the room. His movement went halted at that. Eren furrowed his eyebrows at the odds of hearing another voice aside from Levi and Kuchel. He tried to decipher whose voice was that but cannot so instead of just standing outside, he knocked the door and received an audible of 'Come in' from the door.

He opened the door and saw the third mysterious person in the room. A person with shoulder length strawberry blond haired, a pair of big brown eyes looking at him, wearing a pastel knee length dress was sitting on a chair, a chair that he used to sit everytime he came visiting Levi had been sat by one and only, Petra Ral. A girl who has a crush on Levi since college. Eren stared at her. And looking at her position, Eren can see it clearly now that she was sitting a bit too close to Levi than he liked to admit. A pinch of jealously was slowly creeping into his heart.

"Hello, Eren."

His eyes twitched slightly at hearing her sweet greeting but mind to none of it. "Hey, Petra. Long time no see." He smiled his best sweet smile to her in which she smiled her sweet smile back, "Ah yes. I just came back from a work trip in Italy. That was why I didn't came right away to visit Levi four months ago." She said while turning to look at Levi and pouted her lips a bit, "I'm so sorry, Levi for not trying to come visit you before."

"It's okay. I know you're busy." Levi said with a small smile. 

At that Petra also smile her most sweetest smile that made Eren felt annoyed by it. "Okay then. Well, I guess I spent my time long enough here, " she said while looking at her watch. "I'm so sorry, Mrs Kuchel but I need to excuse myself now." she stood up from her spot and when to politely shake a hand with Kuchel. "Thank you for letting me spending my time here, Mrs Kuchel."

"My pleasure." Kuchel said and after that Petra was long gone from the room. "Ummm..." A tense silent went pregnant in the air. Kuchel, who noticed it excused herself, "I want to go to the restroom first. Eren, look after Levi, please." Kuchel said and sent a look toward him. "Okay..." Eren, being the dense he was, cannot understand the meaning of the look that he got from Levi's mother. After Levi's mother left, leaving Eren alone with his love interest, that's when Eren truly realised how he felt a little bit of jealous at seeing Levi smiled to other person than him. God, he cannot believed how he felt jealousy slowly crawling up his spine, and wanted to come out from his mouth to laced in with his voice.

Ugh, he cannot believed it!

"Hey, Eren. You don't wanna sit your ass down?" Eren spun his head fast, his neck popped from the fast pace he created. The pain wassn't being recognised by him as the way Levi talked was the same as how Levi used to talk before. "Y-You talked like how you talk before. Levi, do you remember now?" Hope bloomed inside Eren's heart, only to wilt away when Levi shook his head. Not a second after that, Eren's face took a positive one, "Well, it's okay. You still got lots of time to regain your memories back. So step by step."

"Yeah, step by step..." Levi replied. "You know, I don't remember much, but I got a glimpsed of it. How my childhood bestfriends looks alike, what their names and their behaviours like, why I became such an emotionless bastard...." Eren laughed at that. He moved to sit down on the chair and smiled his cheerful smile toward Levi. "You aren't emotionless. You are just good at hiding your emotions." he exclaimed to Levi.

"Either way, it is one of your charms, you know that, right?"

_'Even I falls for it and keep on falling.'_

"Really?" Disbelieve tone laced within the tall one's voice.

"Uh-huh. I'm not lying."

"Oh, not bad." Eren smiled again one of his bright smile. Levi loved seeing his smile. Even if he didn't know the exact reason why he so goddamn loved Eren's smile, he just can't kept hating and got bored by it. Eren's smile made he felt at ease, happy even. Dare he said that he sometimes missed Eren a lot and he didn't even know what to do with it. And the words when he said 'Why I became such an emotionless bastard'....

It's just a luck that he didn't said the rest of it and he didn't understand why he wanted to say it in the first place....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_**... But after meeting you, I feel like I found back my once missing light before. I'm so happy  and very grateful for it, Eren. Please stay by my side....** _

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

~~**_PLEASE DON'T LEAVE_ _ME......_** ~~

 

 

 

 

 

 

**_GOODBYE EREN......_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not a fully memory but a memory in a dream form...also kuchel told levi the short version of farlan and isabelle's death so it is forgiveable right?right?so.... next chapter is the last one huh?hoohooo not bad..
> 
> #thankyouforreadingandkudos!
> 
> gives loves to you! \\(^o*)/


	8. Safe and Sound

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I hope you are fine living with me for a while, Levi.” Eren smiled sheepishly and rubbed the back of his neck. “Well, it’s not like I can live alone right now. The doctor won’t allow me. Heck, even my mother won’t allow me to live alone as she can’t keep watch over me when she’s already back in France so, don’t worry about it.” Levi said as he walked slowly beside Eren.
> 
>  
> 
> #Safe and Sound  
> #Taylor Swift

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys.... Still remember this sad excuses story of mine? Yep, it's been two years already that i had abandoned this story so yeah I am terribly sorry for that! For those who read, liked and did all those lovely things to this story, I am very much grateful for that! So here it is! The long awaited 8th chapter! 
> 
> There had been slightly changes here and there within this story so I suggest you guys should read it all back to refresh back everything... 
> 
> Enjoy~

“I hope you are fine living with me for a while, Levi.” Eren smiled sheepishly and rubbed the back of his neck. “Well, it’s not like I can live alone right now. The doctor won’t allow me. Heck, even my mother won’t allow me to live alone as she can’t keep watch over me when she’s already back in France so, don’t worry about it.” Levi said as he walked slowly beside Eren.

“Umm, okay…” Eren said with uncertainty.

“Are you sure that it is okay for you to-“

“Eren,” Levi said, turning his whole body, facing Eren’s one, “… I told you it is okay, right? If it’s not okay, I won’t be coming with you or even walking with you to leave this sterile white hallways.” He said while gesturing the hallways around them. “Leaving this place is the greatest thing that had happened to me for a while besides slowly regaining my memory back. So, don’t doubt about this, Eren.”

Eren smiled at that. Levi always know how to make people feel confident and good about something they will do. This was one of the qualities that Eren adored enough about him. Okay, he won’t doubt himself and he swore to God that he will take a good care of Levi and help him to regain his memory back. Even it was the most impossible thing to do….

 

_{ “Are you saying that Levi might not remember back all his memories?” Kuchel asked the doctor when he informed her about her son’s condition. “It’s not that he won’t get his memory back, Mrs Ackerman. It’s just that the chances are slim but…“_

_“But he still can regain his memories back, right?” Hanji resumed the doctor’s words. He nodded his head, conforming the words she said. “Then, the problem is, how long will it takes for him to do that?” Erwin’s voice boomed around the space._

_The doctor looked serious as he said his next word, “It will probably take weeks or even months for his case but there were also several of patients that got their memory back after several years had passed.”_

_“I see….”_

_“Still, we will try our best to help him get through this. Even if will takes years to come, I will never stop supporting him.” The words that left Eren’s mouth made everyone inside the room looked at him; Kuchel with a smile flashing at him, Hanji and Erwin with a look of agreement meanwhile the doctor looked pleased by his answer. “Well, as a doctor myself, I am glad to hear that all of you will support my patient even though he’s not in my 24 hours care anymore. I feel happy to know that you care a lot for Mr Levi, Mr Jaeger.”_

_“He is my bestfriend. I won’t abandon him…..”_

_**I love him.** } _

 

_************** _

 

“So, this is your house?” Levi asked as he went to sit down on the couch inside the living room. The house didn’t look that fancy but cosy enough for Eren and Mikasa to live in it. The feel of home and belonging speak louder in here, making Levi smile softly. “This is such a lovely house, Eren.”

Eren, who just got inside the house closed the door and made a beeline towards Levi. He sat Levi’s clothes bag beside the couch and plopped himself down with an ‘umph’. “Yeah, you think?” he rolled his shoulder and put his head at the back of the couch. “Mikasa and I don’t have that much money so we just can rent this house but still, like you said before, it is a lovely house. Quite cosy too, if you ask me.”

“Yeah, I realised that…” Levi admitted it while looking around the house, noticing the pictures of Eren, Mikasa, and Armin together with his parents lined along the creamy wall. _‘I don’t think my house have any pictures…’_ a thought crossed his mind at that. At the end of the lined picture frames, Levi saw a photo of Eren, smiling broadly while half hugging someone that he somewhat recognised. He stood from the couch and moved closer to the picture.

He took a good look at it and realised that the next person beside Eren was himself. Only in this photo he looked younger than now. So did Eren. Eren, realising Levi looking at it with interest eyes, got up and walked to him. “That was taken when we were still studying at the college,” he said, explaining some other details why the photo was taken. “We just finished our final exam that day so I, being the dork as you always said to me, wanted to take a picture as a memory.”

Looking back at the photo and heard what Eren told him made Levi chuckled lightly. “Yeah…” he answered. In his mind, a flashed of laughing Eren took a hold of reluctant him while taking a selfie thus resulting a photo of him looking half pissed, half annoyed with Eren smiling happily.

“Yeah… I’d remembered that…”

Taken aback at what Levi said, Eren went silent for a bit before a smile broke from his lips. “You’re slowly getting your memory back, Levi. That’s great! We need to celebrate it but before that, let’s get you into a room.” Eren smiled more. Levi just nodded his head and followed Eren, who walked in front of him with a bag at his hand and marched to the said room.

Before they leave the living room, another picture caught his silver eyes. Levi stopped in his track and threw a look at it. After doing so, his eyes widen a bit. Pain slowly engulfed him, especially in his chest part which he didn’t knew why it started there first. Eren, realising that Levi didn’t follow him from behind turned to look at his friend, only to find him stared at another picture of him. But this time it was a picture of him together with his ex-fiance. He moved back towards Levi and took a hold of that said picture from the wall.

“Sorry…”he apologised to Levi. He didn’t know why he felt the need to do so. He just did. “I thought I’d already get rid of this picture…” he said more.

Levi eyed the picture, a picture of Eren hugging Alex.

_**Hugging Alex.** _

_Alex? Who?_

That name suddenly emerged in his mind.

_**Hugging Alex.** _

_**Alex....** _

Something went off inside him, making Levi felt weird all over. His stomach turned to knots, painful knots that made him wanted to vomit here and there. “Levi? Are you okay? You look sick.” Worried laced within Eren’s voice. Levi saw Eren came into his view, how he looked concerned about him. He saw Eren put the picture frame on top of the shelf near them. He saw how happy Eren looked in the picture.

He looked so happy…

_So beautiful…_

_**With someone else.** _

He felt like he wanted to cry, wanted to scream in agony but he didn’t know why he felt these. The pain dull that came from his head slowly becoming hard for him, like his head being knocked, smashed countless time, making him bowed forward with pain grunt. One hand was holding his head, another one was placed against the wall to support himself from falling down onto the floor.

“Ugh…” he grunted in pain.

“Levi!” Eren hold his body, stopping him from falling straight onto the ground. “Levi, what’s going on?!” Panic. Scared. Worried. All blend in together within him. ' _What’s happening to Levi?!'_ Eren didn’t know what to do right now. Seeing Levi hurting like this made him went negative inside. “My head…” He heard Levi answered him with a weak voice. Levi touched his head with both of his hands now, “It’s hurt… it’s hurt… it’s hurt…” he mumbled to himself. He saw Levi closed his eyes tightly, looking like he’s hoping for the pain to go away.

_‘Dammit… Levi just got out from hospital today and now he’s having an attack?!’_ Eren screamed mentally. He can’t stand watching Levi like this so he opted to rub his back countless time while speaking courage to him. And that’s when he remembered the doctor who treated Levi had given him some pills.

_Stupid Eren._

“Hang in there, Levi… I’ll go get your medicine now.” He put Levi down on the floor, situating him against the wall and went to his bag, opened it fast enough that it may have ripped the zip apart. Not that he cared at the moment, Levi’s condition was far more important right now. He rummaged through things and found the pills. He went back to Levi, took a glass of water for him in the kitchen, all in a fast pace. Levi took the medicine from Eren and eat it hastily. He gulped the water down until it finished and wait for the effect to start kicking in.

Several minutes passed in heavy silence. Eren was watching Levi intently, looking for any sign of distress or painful reaction while Levi only closed his eyes and breathing labouriously. “Sorry you had to witness that thing happened to me…” a weak voice sounded in the empty air.

Eren looked at Levi. He saw how Levi’s body trembled slightly he then took a hold of Levi’s hand. He gripped it lightly, “Does it happen often?” he asked with gentle tone. Levi breathed in deep and started to answer his question, “Well, sometimes it happened to me when I was still in the hospital but not this worse. Only minor headache here and there. When you came visit, I tried to control it to minimum and I guessed it worked until now.”

Eren sighed for the first time that day. “Okay… After this, no more secret between us, alright?”

“What are you, my mom?”

“Levi….”

A breathy chuckle was heard between them. “Okay… no more secret.” The both of them smiled at the same time. Eren put aside the glass before standing from the floor. "Can you stand?" he asked Levi while offering a hand for him to grab onto. Levi looked at it and took a hold before slowly standing on his own two feet. "Yeah... I'm not that fragile, brat..." that's what he said which earned a few small laugh from Eren.

"Call me that again."

"What? Brat?" Levi sounded a little bit suprised at hearing what Eren just said earlier. "Yeah, call me that again. You used to call me brat before and I was furious when you said that but I kinda missed it now..." Eren looked down. His bangs somewhat managed to hide his face but Levi caught it slightly. How Eren's face was a bit pink than a few moments ago.

Eren Jaeger was blushing.

And it was because of _him_.

It was absurd but Levi couldn't help to laughed a little at that. "Nah... Eren..." he patted Eren's chestnut hair, "Don't be such a brat. Show me where I am supposed to sleep."

Hearing Levi's laugh with him getting patted on the head made Eren felt giddy inside. "Oh yeah that. Sorry. Here, let me show you where..."Flustered by that, Eren quickly brought Levi to the respective room.

_Silly me..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyway thank you for those who are still sticking with me and this story! Thank you sooo muchhh!!! 
> 
> Remember that I said this was the last chapter?  
> Nah, it didn't go as planned so expect like two or three more chapters in the future... ;D
> 
> STAY TUNED....


	9. Shiver

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> His eyes went wide. His heart stopped right there as his brain processed the information. “What…? What kind of a sick joke is this?”
> 
>  
> 
> #Shiver  
> #Coldplay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter jyeahhhh!!! Again I am very sorry for the late update! I was kind of busy with work nowadays so I opted to wait until I got a really, really free time before I can continued back. Ehem2... So this new chapter might have some twists? I don't know but I hope you guys still can enjoy this story!

 

 

A week had passed since Levi had started his staying at Eren and Mikasa’s house. Ever since then, both of them had never failed to assist Levi in any ways to bring back his memory. Most of the help had come from Eren himself as he always found time in taking Levi to places they used to hang out, sharing stories about them, and showing him pictures that might triggered his memory. Sometimes it worked out but other time it didn’t. But still, it never stop Eren from helping him.

Hanji and Erwin also came to the house every day to check up on him. Levi often asked them whether they weren’t busy or just having lots of free time to come visited like every freaking day. Instead of getting an answer, he found himself being engulfed in a hug by over enthusiastic four eyes and later being ripped away from her by a pair of another strong arms. He can only shook his head in amusement towards Hanji’s antics while telling himself to stop asking those questions as it was useless now.

They spent a couple of hours here before excusing themselves home but not before they talked with Eren in private for some time. Levi didn’t noticed it back then. He just started to notice the occurrence when the third time they came to the house, it was also the third time Eren had vanished for a while when he’s the one that always seeing them off to the door. At first, he thought maybe Hanji just wanted to ask Eren something private but seeing how it happens almost everytime they came here, Levi couldn’t help but felt somewhat curious about it.

“What did you talked about with Hanji and Erwin just now, Eren?” he asked him one day after they had gone home. Eren, whom just closed the front door gave him a sheepish smiled and laughed a little. “….Ahhh, it’s nothing actually…” He averted his eyes downward. Levi, after knowing Eren for quite some time now, not including the time before he lost his memory, he started to realise little tidbits of Eren’s habit, like how his ears gone red if he lied or hiding something, how he averted his eyes, not looking at you when talking because he didn’t want you to ask more about it…

He understood it all which made Levi turning his direction from standing in the living room towards the kitchen to start cleaning all the plates they used to serve food for their guests earlier. “Well, if you don’t want to talk about it, it’s fine…’ he said while started to wash all the plates in the sink. Moments later, Eren went to his aid, wiping those clean plates in silent between them.

“Sorry… I’ll tell you later, Levi…” Without fail, Eren will told him this.

“Yeah…” Without fail, Levi smiled softly upon hearing that.

 

 

_************** _

 

 

“Are you sure you don’t want me to stay with you, Levi?”

“Nah, it’s okay. You still have works to do after all so don’t worry about me,” A tall pale figure came out from the passenger seat. He bend his body, right hand hovered over the car door while looking towards the owner of it who sat at the driver seat. “You sure you don’t want me to pick you up after this?” Eren asked him for the second time that day after he brought Levi back to his house as he requested that morning before he went to his workplace. He found it was quite sudden so he asked the reason for it but Levi just shrugged it off with a smirk and said, “I need to clarify something, brat…,” to which Eren couldn’t help the sudden rush of warmth on his cheeks and blabbering mess later.

“You should have told me earlier if you want to go to your house, Levi. That way, maybe I can take a day off from work.”

“I can just walk back to your home. It is not that far away actually,” he said, looking to his right where the road directed towards Eren’s resident. “… Plus it would be nice for me to take some fresh air once in a while.” Hearing that, Eren just nodded his head in understanding and smile more. “Okay! Call me if anything happens!” he said while Levi closed the door, not before giving him a light nod.

The car slowly went away from his sight. Levi sighed a little and turned back to look at the apartment building where Eren exclaimed to be where he lived for the past six years already. He took a good look at the tall grey building, feeling somewhat familiar and melancholy all of a sudden. He directed his walk through the glass door, nodded a little at the guards and went straight to the elevator.

He checked the number on his house key. ‘707’ was written on it, indicated that the house indeed on the seventh floor. He pushed the numbered 7 button in the elevator and wait for the metallic moving room to bring him up to the desired floor. While waiting to arrive, Levi couldn’t help but to think back the reason why he came here in the first place.

During one of his outing with Eren, they came across one shop that stood out in his mind. He wanted to ask Eren about it but seeing he didn’t even reacted when they stop _in front_ of the store, Levi decided to keep quiet about it. He didn’t know why he felt like he’d been there before. The shop itself didn’t give any particular idea why he even went there since he’s not even fond of something like that but still it intrigued to him.

Maybe it’s something only he knew?

The ‘ding’ sound came and the door opened. Levi stepped out from the elevator and moved to find his house. He didn’t know where he needed to head but it seemed like his body moved on its own and truth to be told he already standing in front of the door that has small gold number of ‘707’ plastered onto the wooden door.

He unlocked the door with a click and opened it, revealing an empty looking hallway connected to the living room. The house was eerily quiet and lacked of living as the owner himself didn’t stay here for almost six months now after his unfortunate event had happened to him. Levi closed the door and opened his shoes and placed it by the shoe rack situated there. He walked slowly into the living room, eyes looking around in interest.

The first thing that he realised upon being in this apartment is how the house looked very neat and tidy from any messes. The couches and table in the living room were arranged perfectly with no additional useless magazines to ‘decorate’ the table like how Eren had emphasised to him before. He also realised that he had a special shelf for books in here. By books, he meant lots of it.

He went to the kitchen and again was amazed by how there weren't any dirty plates or mugs in the sink. All those equipment and tools in the kitchen were already sat in their respective place. His eyes trailed over the kitchen counter and stopped when it landed on a certain oven that was placed beside the toaster. One memory popped within his mind, the special memory of Eren tried to bake some sweets for him as a ‘welcome home’ surprise only to fail horribly was making Levi smiled and chuckled a little at that.

“God… why is he so cute?” he mumbled.

He turned around, walking back to the living room. The house was indeed in a good condition, just a little bit dusty here and there because of him not lived here for months already. _Wow_ , he thought. It looks like he was indeed a clean-freak as Eren exclaimed him to be. Levi slide the curtains and opened the sliding doors to let some of the light came into the house and air the room.

He took a glimpse at the scenery before him, somewhat feeling nostalgic as he felt like he used to do this every time. Something caught his sight then. There's one relax chair sitting at the corner of the balcony with a small dark coloured table. It seemed it’s true that he used to spend his alone time here more than inside. That explained the many books that he had arranged in the shelf over there. It’s convenient to place the shelf near the sliding door as it was easier for him to access any books for him to read while having a nice hot black tea here outside.

Yep, definitely had done that.

He went back inside, scanning around and noticing the lack of photos or other personal belongings that belonged to him here. Just as he thought. Moving on, intended on looking for something that was the cause of him getting back here in the first place, he looked around but nothing seemed out of ordinary or might stood out. If it was something he didn’t want anyone to find out other than himself…

_My room then…_

He walked his legs to where the bedrooms are located. This apartment contained three bedrooms. He supposed the main bedroom was located near the living room so he opted to go to the first door and opened it without much hassle. Again he was amazed by how much of a clean-freak he is by the looks of his bedroom; no wrinkled on the sheets, no shirts across the floor whatsoever. Levi noticed there's a nightstand beside his bed. Without further ado, he went there, sit in the comfy bed and opened the first drawer of his nightstand to start searching.

He rummaged through it, looking for something that he didn’t even know what or something that might gave him clues about why he had such feelings. Nothing here. Levi closed it and opted to open the second one. He went through things, paper and notepads until he crossed over a small black box.

His paused momentarily at that.

_‘Wait… It can’t be…’_

Levi slowly took a hold of it. The box itself wasn’t that heavy so nothing breakable might be inside. He hesitated to open it. Minutes went by before “Ah fuck it,” resonated in the still air. Levi opened it and shock went over him.

“Wha-“

There was a simple gold band resting inside.

He then noticed under the pile of papers and notepads, there was a small calendar with a certain note written on a certain date. He took a hold of it and read what was written there. His eyes went wide. His heart stopped right there as his brain processed the information. “What…? What kind of a sick joke is this?” Levi questioned himself. Hand trembled slightly as the calendar fell onto the floor.

“What the hell…”

 

 

 

_**‘The day I finally propose to you.’**_ was written there.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cliffhanger, no?
> 
>  
> 
> For those whom played the game, I bet you guys noticed the door's number right? See what I did there? Lololol....


	10. Gekkou (Part One)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He finished his tea and inspected back the ring. He placed it against the light, rolled it again and again until he noticed something carved around the ring’s inside. Levi paused his action. He brought the ring closer to his eyes and read the words written there.
> 
> ‘My Moonlight’
> 
>  
> 
> #Gekkou (Moonlight)  
> #Miyawaki Shion / Assassination Classroom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heya, I'm back! So sorry for not updating sooner. Writer's block kept coming and blocking my writing spirit! In order to make up for it, I made a longer chapter than usual so I hope you guys enjoy it!
> 
> Happy reading!

 

 

“Here is your order, sir.”

A cup of hot black tea was being put on the table in front of him. He sent the girl, _Clara_ , the nametag wrote a small smile and a thanks. She nodded her head, smiling and mumbled _‘enjoy your drink’_ before went away to take another order from other customer inside the café.

The black haired man took a hold of that said cup, holding it by the rim and sipped slowly the heavenly beverage. He put the cup back and looked outside the glass wall, gazing the scenery of humans walking along the pavement, cars and other transportation moving around the city. He glanced back inside where he currently resided, a small yet homey café that he found on his way back from the apartment.

Levi pulled out the black box from his pants pocket. He opened it, took a hold of that ring and inspected it. The ring is smaller than his finger size so it wasn’t his. Adding with the note that he found written on the small calendar about wanting to propose to someone, it means that he had planned to propose to the said person on that day and failed. Either he didn’t make it because he lost his memories or something bad had happened before he managed to pop up the question long before his incident.

He grumbled inside.

 _‘So I had someone that I loved and planned to marry them…,’_ Levi thought to himself while inspecting more the ring. He brought the ring closer to his eyes. There’s nothing engraved on the outer side of the ring to give him clues about the receiver, he noted. The more he scrutinized it, the more he realised how simple the ring was that he cannot help but to think the receiver must be someone who doesn’t like extravagant things in their life.

He rolled the ring between his right forefinger and thumb while his other hand cupped his chin and elbow propped onto the dark wooden table. By doing so, nature light from the outside shone through the ring, leaving gold glimmered in its wake. Levi stopped his inspection and stared long enough at it.

“… It’s beautiful.”

He stood still in realisation from those statement. _‘Beautiful huh…’_ Levi couldn’t help in feeling amused. It seemed like he loved them deep enough for him to feel like this just by looking at the simple ring.

“Ah! Levi. It’s good seeing you here.”

A voice speaking to him managed to pull Levi from his thought. Levi unconsciously gripped the ring in his palm before he looked up towards the source and saw one of his colleague standing near his table with a steaming take away cup within their grasp and a small brown paper bag in other hand. He recognised them instantly and smiled at them.

“Petra…”

 

 

_************** _

 

 

“What are you doing here?” he asked her after she went down to sit on the stool opposite of him. She smiled shyly before answering, “Oh, I just came here to buy some latte and croissants. This café’s latte and croissants are delicious.” She said while gesturing to the items she had with her on the table and put her hands onto her laps. “… and what about you? I haven’t seen you in this café long since after your incident though.”

Levi adjusted his body for more comfortable position while answering her, “I just came back from my house earlier. On the way back, I found this café and somewhat feel nostalgic thus decided to come in here. Seems like I was right that I used to come here often before then.”

Petra nodded at his answer and smiled. Their conversation somewhat stopped with them slowly sipping their beverages. The air surrounding them is awkward since Petra didn’t know what they should talk about and with Levi who doesn’t fully remember his memories yet. Petra opted in stealing some glances towards her long-time crush. She noticed that even after many years had passed, he still looked the same and not ageing enough like some other people she knew.

_‘He looks the same and yet so different…’_

Meanwhile, Levi mulled over the facts about the ring and whether or not he should asked her about it but if he wants to find out about the supposed owner for this ring, he’d better gets as many help as he can then.

_After all, beggar can’t be a chooser._

“Petra…” his voice brought Petra back from her musing. She stammered over her reply, “Y-yes?” Levi looked straight into her eyes and she involuntarily blushed at that. “Um, is there something on my face?” she asked while redirecting her eyes anywhere but him. Her eyes landed onto Levi’s right hand and saw something gold within his grasp.

_‘Eh? Is that-‘_

“… Do you perhaps know if I had someone I liked before?” Her brown honey eyes widen at that. “Eh? You mean like a lover or something?” she couldn’t help herself to ask him back. Petra was kind of shocked hearing Levi, her long-time crush since college asked her about that. She gulped down the lump that managed to form in her throat. The pain that slowly emerged from her chest told her that she wasn’t successful enough to detain those horrible feelings from blooming within her.

Levi nodded his head at her question, unaware of her inner battle. “Yeah. I want to know whether I had someone special or not before I lost my memories. I mean, it must be some kind of a secret love or something since if I had an official lover, they must know already about my condition and come to my aid or something.”

Petra nodded numbly at that.

“… and if that’s true it was a secret love of mine, I might have told someone like Hanji or Erwin but since you are here, I thought maybe I shared some details with you too because we had known each other since college…,” he exclaimed to her.

“And also…,” Levi shown to her what was hidden in his right palm. Petra’s breath did hitched when looking at the thing presented upon her eyes. A simple gold band resting on his palm. A gold band. A wedding band. Her heart wrench painfully at seeing that innocent ring on her crush’s palm.

“… You wanted to propose to them…” she finished his talk albeit reluctantly. Levi nodded, expression solemn at that. His eyes drifting to look at the ring situated back between his forefinger and thumb instead of her face. Silence took a hold between them again. Petra bit her lips, trying to hold the trembles that wanted to take place on her lips. She took a deep breath to calm herself from breaking down in front of Levi.

“I… I do not know whether you had someone special or not with you before,” she started, “… You didn’t tell me anything about that since you are the type to keep something personal all by yourself but if you have that ring…,” she balled her fists tightly, “… it can only means one thing; you do have someone and you love them so much that you wanted to marry them, Levi.” She said to him.

Levi’s eyes widen at her exclamation. “I see…,” Levi trailed off his words. “…Thanks Petra for telling me this. Even though, you don’t know who are they still I’d appreciated it.” He sent her a small smile which managed to make Petra’s heart skipped a beat. She looked downward, eyes being shadowed by her bangs. “Ah, it’s nothing at all. Well, Levi. I should go now. I have things to do after this so goodbye.” Petra stood up from the stool, taking those items she bought earlier with her and hurriedly went to the glass door.

“Okay. Have a good day then.” He said to her.

She stopped in front of the door, one hand hanging before slowly turning back and looked towards him. Levi raised his eyebrows in question. He intended to ask her _‘what’s the matter’_ but she had beaten him to it. His eyes widen again after he listened to her. With a sad smile, she pushed open the glass door and went away from the café.

Levi was puzzled. When he thought back about the event happened between him and Petra minutes ago and seeing her sad smile, he became more puzzled. He shook his head to clear his mind. He took a hold of the cup and sipped the now lukewarm black tea. He finished his tea and inspected back the ring. He placed it against the light, rolled it again and again until he noticed something carved around the ring’s inside. Levi paused his action. He brought the ring closer to his eyes and read the words written there.

 

_**‘My Moonlight’** _

 

The thing that Petra said to him before went ringing in his mind.

 

_“The person that belongs to that ring is lucky to have your love, Levi.”_

 

 

Outside, several ways from the café stood a petite young woman who silently cried as her first love failed. “I lost huh…” and she went away, far from her prince.

 

 

_************** _

 

 

It was night time now. Levi was sitting in a couch in the living room, having a conversation with Mikasa who was sitting beside him. “So, do you find the thing that you had been trying to find earlier?” she asked him, knowing full well his intention on going back to his house before.

Levi nodded his head, confirmed that he indeed had found the thing that he wanted. He didn’t even feel weird about her knowing the real reason as Mikasa is great at reading people and knowing things. He used to tell her this but she just brushed him off, saying that she could never read him before his incident. _“I just can read you nowadays because you forget how to mask your emotion better now”,_ she had told him this.

The both of them continued their conversation before the front door opened, revealing one Eren Jaeger behind it. “I’m home.” He said tiredly while taking off his shoes and placing them onto the shoes rack. He put the car keys into the prepared bowl and dragged his feet to the living room. He plopped ungracefully face first into the couch opposite the one where Levi and Mikasa currently seated.

“Welcome back.” Mikasa said to him and smiling a little at her adoptive brother. “Tough day?” Eren muffled groan could be heard from within the couch. The two black haired people chuckled at that. Mikasa stood up from the couch, “I know you’re extremely hungry right now so I’m going to reheat back dinner. Don’t go to sleep now, Eren.” She said while walking towards the kitchen. Eren just kept groaning.

“You’d better wash yourself first! You stink!”

“Ugh, Mikasa. Stop it!” Eren pushed himself up and sat normally. He glared his way to kitchen’s direction before glancing at Levi. “Hey…” Eren said sheepishly. Levi smirked at him, “Hey yourself.”

“Umm… do you find something at your house earlier?”

Levi propped both his elbow on his knees, “Hmm…” He looked straight into Eren’s bright eyes and smirked again. “It’s a secret, brat~” Eren’s face went flushed red and spluttered his next words, “Y-you… Um-umm…” he covered his red face with both hands and groaned again. Levi chuckled at seeing Eren’s cute expression. Sparing Eren from more humiliation, Levi directed his gaze outside, looking through the window behind the couch and witnessing how shiny and white the moon is.

 

_**{ ”You’re just like moonlight, gently illuminating my heart.” }** _

 

“Moonlight huh…” his fingers unconsciously went to play with the ring he wore as a necklace under his v neck shirt. Eren peeked at him through the crack of his fingers and noticed the light gold glimmered coming from Levi’s new necklace. _Since when Levi wore a necklace_ , he thought. Eren studied the necklace a bit more and then he gasped inside.

_‘It’s a ring.’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you can see, this chapter have another part so be prepare for it! Still, thank you for picking up this story, kudos and comments! It makes me so happy knowing that people still read this story...
> 
> Anyway, see you guys soon!~~~

**Author's Note:**

> Hope this is okay.. Sorry for any grammar and spelling mistakes... Also if the wedding scene wass kinda weird to some of you, I'm so sorry for that too!
> 
> Thanks for reading and kudos!


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